1) 12 year old: "What did your mom do when she found the cigarettes?"
13 year old: "She balled me out; told me I could
die before I was twenty."
2) A man is cycling comfortably along a busy street and decides to accelerate when he sees the traffic light ahead change to amber. He stands high on the pedals and pumps harder and harder until his left foot slips at the same
time his tire catches a sewer grate. He is rapidly shifted forwards forcing him to firmly and squarely straddle the center-post of the handle
bars which catch his shorts. The bike is partially wedged by the front tire in the sewer grate but the force of his crotch ALONE lurches the bike out of the grate where he somersaults - bike fully attached solely to his crotch - through the entire intersection. While lying there unconscious, an onlooker can see the
skin of his scrotum tightly
twisted around
the one handle bar with a flattened dark blue testicle clearly seen through the thinned
skin.
Onlooker: "Maaaaan, that
guy just got SEEEeeeriously balled out!!!"