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al-in-chgo's definitions

candy

The human posterior, especially the anus, usually male. Originates from homosexual prison slang of the 1930's - 1960's, in which "junk" is the frontal male genitalia and "candy" the reverse.... A bottom's candy, sexually, is where the top wants to put his junk.

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Never mind the big junk, he's candy all the way.
by al-in-chgo June 3, 2010
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honorary boyfriend

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A polite and gender-specific way to say fuck buddy (a term which can apply to male and female alike), both meaning a fairly regular sexual partner of whom no particular social commitment or romantic allegiance is expected. Very similar to "friend with benefits" except that if absoutely necessary the guy can be referred to as a "boyfriend" which, strictly speaking, isn't a lie.

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Abercrombie? Oh, he's an honorary boyfriend at most. He gets nookie but I don't have to take him shopping. So far so good for us both."

"Am I still looking for a "regular" boyfriend? Sure, but for now Dolph keeps me satisfied sexually, so I know horniness is not going to interfere with my judgment choosing a real boyfriend."
by al-in-chgo March 5, 2010
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HOM

1. A Hot Older Man in the public eye, such as George Clooney or Brad Pitt.

2. A hot older gay male (note differing terminology). In a gay context, HOM signifies handsome gay men in their forties and fifties, who are usually well-defined physically and have body (esp. chest) hair and often some face hair, although head hair is not an absolute requirement. There are numerous websites devoted to same-sex admirers of HOM's, some more explicitly erotic than others.
Stefan: "See that guy leaving the gym? He is SO hot-looking with that jacket and greying goatee. My Tim Kelly meter is going tilt. Think he's HOM (aitch-oh-emm)?"

Thom: "If he's gay, you may be on to something. You sure have an eye for the daddies, don't you?"

Stefan: "Woof!"
by al-in-chgo February 20, 2010
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fooling around

Three definitions:

1. Mock fighting or wrestling, horseplay, slapping, or grab-assing, usually indulged in by immature boys.

2. Adults who evade work responsibility by indulging in tomfoolery or idle socializing when there is work to be done.

3. Current euphemism for "have sex," having replaced "make love" about 25-30 years ago. "Fooling around" connotes sexual foreplay which may or may not lead to deliberate intercourse depending on the couple's tradition and current opportunity.

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1-"Boys, if you don't stop that fooling around back there, I'm gonna turn this van around and we'll all go home."

2-"The phone was ringing, and where were the front-office employees? In the break room, fooling around as usual."

3-"There's nothing on TV and the kids are asleep. Feel like fooling around?"
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by al-in-chgo August 18, 2010
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GLIBERTARIAN

(Sometimes "Glibbertarian") From GLIB + libERTARIAN. A well-off or self-made individual who offers easy nostrums for complicated social and economic problems, usually centered around such premises as "A government program never helped anyone," or "Government is the cause of, not the answer to, America's problems."

A glibertarian response is frequently preceded by "Oh, just let this happen" or "Oh, all we need to do is . . . " Sometimes these statements elucidate libertarian principles, if a bit superficially, but more often invoke knee-jerk responses that offer snappy, painless solutions from anything but government.
"We have to get manufacturing back into this country."

"Oh, just let the magic of the market take care of that."

"What are we to do about illegal immigration?"

"Oh, all we need to do is get these folks onto a market-driven salary and off all these government programs like public schools and health care."

sarcastically: "Where on earth did you get all these wonderful solutions?"

"Oh, I'm a self-made man."

Original speaker sotto voce "A Glibertarian worships his own maker."
by al-in-chgo March 18, 2011
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Male Member

The "Male Member" (sometimes 'male organ') is a delicate way to refer to the penis for people who are grossed out by street slang (dick, cock, etc.) and who think even "penis" is unnecessarily graphic.

Even today, there are such people around.
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"Did you see the graffiti on that boxcar? The small letter "i" is really the male member -- the base is the testicles and the dot over the "i" is ejaculate."

"I must have missed it -- but then, I don't go looking for such things. lol."

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by al-in-chgo March 19, 2010
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Suck On My Cock

"Suck On My Cock" is a satirical Christmas send-up, lyrics written by Pacific Northwest shock jock and prolific parodist Bob Rivers and based on the tune of the bestselling "Jingle Bell Rock" by Bobby Helms (1957).

With himself as singer, "Suck On My Cock" was released as part of a Rivers Christmastime satiric CD, and in 2007 as part of Rivers' CD "Rated X Max." Rivers' lyrics graphically recount in first-person the experience of receiving a full and complete act of fellatio by his (possibly) unwilling partner and makes ample use of "Jingle Bell Rock's" tune, multiple stanzas, choruses and chord changes.

The song is offensive, obscene, and politically incorrect but very funny to those who like no-holds-barred satire. It has been covered often in the ensuing years by Matt Rogers and other singers. Downloadable sung versions and lyrics are not difficult to find on the Internet, though good copies of the prior CD releases command a huge premium in the online used-disc market.

If live versions are included, it is hard to measure how high "Suck On My Cock" ranks in Rivers' ample songbook, but it appears to be shaping up as a "guilty" Christmas pleasure along with many of his other Yuletide parodies, such as "Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear" and "Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire."

Bob Rivers asserts that he still owns copyright to the lyrics.
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-- "God, I couldn't believe it when the band began to play "Jingle Bell Rock" and the singer started off with 'Stroke on my, lick on my, suck on my cock..."

-- "Yeah, hardcore! But it was pretty late and I don't think people minded "blue" material. Hope you listened up, 'cuz I bet the band won't play it for another 364 days."

-- "Yeah OK, fool, but cyberspace never forgets."

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by al-in-chgo October 30, 2010
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