al-in-chgo's definitions

goof off

1. To slack off or waste time with the implication that the time is better spent at something to hand (like one's job);

2. Semi-euphemism for "masturbate."

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-After school, Sam was downtown as usual, the typical small-town Drugstore Cowboy, goofing off.

-In the movie THE LAST PICTURE SHOW (1971), the coach's remark to the basketball team, "If y'all boys didn't jack off so much, you might amount to something," was replaced by "If y'all boys didn't goof off so much, you might amount to something," for the TV release.

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by al-in-chgo August 18, 2010

bread and butter

A type of superstition, a chant that is uttered when something physically gets in the way of a couple, such as a pole or another person on the street. Origin: USA, early 1920's. Alternative: "Salt and Pepper."

"Oh, we've got to let that bicyclist through."

(They drop hands to let the bicyclist pass in between.)
"Bread and butter." -- "Bread and butter."

by al-in-chgo March 21, 2019

underhung

Lacking in penis length, not well-hung, deficient. In a recent and highly un-scientific survey, seven out of ten adult American males would rather be called "harmless" than "underhung."

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"'Harmless' -- well, that could be someone who is well-behaved around women, but 'underhung' -- you've been typed for good!"

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by al-in-chgo March 2, 2010

grizzled

Partly gray or streaked with gray. Connotes age, but not necessarily.

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Jerry Garcia was a grizzled and bearded band leader in the decade before his death, but he still had a comparatively young face.

by al-in-chgo May 24, 2010

book soldier

Origin probably military. A book soldier is a person caught up in details and procedures, but lacking in experience and insight. Typically used disparagingly, a book soldier typically is a bureaucrat or official of small import enforcing petty rules that the objects of his/her decision see as virtually meaningless. As a result of, or in compensation for, this focus on minute details, the book soldier secures his or her reputation by being, or described as being, head-smart not street-smart, or educated fool, or drone, lacking empathy and grace.

"Second Lieutenant Johnson" was the classic book soldier: He knew ROTC protocol but nothing about actual warfare, or how to handle a platoon for that matter. If he can't find it in the manual, he freaks out. That's why Sarge calls the shots."

"Jason is a sweet person in real life but at work, in Human Resources, he is a total book soldier. He told me once that one of the staff missed making Employee of the Month because of a two-minute discrepancy between the time clock and the sign-in sheet. I guess in a job like that, it pays to be anal, but fortunately that's not the Jason I usually see."

by al-in-chgo September 10, 2010

asshole buddies

By the mid-1970s "Asshole Buddies" had lost its primarily military connotation and became a slang term, more commonly used in the American South than in other regions, to denote two very close male friends who have come to know each other intimately, though not necessarily sexually. Even if they are having sex, they may nonetheless identify as straight.

." Lonnie and Joe Bob? You hardly ever see one without the other. They've been asshole buddies for years."

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by al-in-chgo September 24, 2011

prostate gland

The interior male sex gland, about the size of a small walnut, not inside the anus but right on the other side of the anal wall (responding to anal pressure and capable of producing great pleasure), and close to or touching other parts of a man's interior sexual equipment/urinary system.

Semen (often mistakenly called "sperm") actually consists of about 65% prostatic fluid, the remaining liquid and sperm themselves coming from the testicles.

The mineral zinc is good for glands and is said to be especially good for the prostate, by supporting increased prostatic fluid production (prostate "flow"). Many herbalists also swear by saw palmetto, an extract made from a palm-like shrub that grows in coastal areas of South Carolina, to keep that flow moving nicely.

If the prostate feels a little swollen (often described as a "twinge insidesic my butt") its flow might be a little "backed up" and more sexual outlet is advised. The medical profession is much less likely to routinely screen for PSA's (an indicator of possible prostate cancer) than in the past because, in early 2010, the evidence indicated that so many false-positives had been generated that the cure (chemo, etc.) for the disease was worse statistically than the disease (prostate cancer) itself, on average.

Not to be confused with the word "prostrate," which means "stretched out face down on the ground in submission or adoration," or "to be lying flat."

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"Will you have sex with me? It's essential to keep my prostate gland in good condition."

"So is masturbation. Get busy."

by al-in-chgo March 6, 2010