al-in-chgo's definitions
A long, convoluted anecdote, often told simply to result in a sentence that consists almost entirely of puns.
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One classic shaggy dog story involves a man named Hugh who is out to stop a couple of monks from growing flowers for money:
"Remember Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars."
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"Remember Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars."
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by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010
Get the shaggy dog storymug. To perform menial or trivial services for one's superiors, with the implication that the agent is capable of doing nothing more significant.
Alderman "X" does not seem concerned with his constituents; what he does best is haul water for the administration.
by al-in-chgo July 23, 2016
Get the haul watermug. The urban practice wherein a man strolls the streets, fully clothed and in a belted trench coat, and slowly but covertly, though a side pocket, masturbates himself in the presence of fellow pedestrians and pasers-by. The benefit of the act is sometimes claimed to be expediency, but more likely is the ability to "get away with it," especially when ejacualation is achieved but not revealed.
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"Why do you say Geoff's a wanker?" -- "I mean, literally, man. I ran into him on Halsted and he had just done a complete London Flog."
"How could you tell?" -- "Well, partly by the refreshed happy-ending look on his face, but mostly by the stain he had made on his trench coat below the buckle."
"Ewww . . . well, at least he kept it in his pants."
"How could you tell?" -- "Well, partly by the refreshed happy-ending look on his face, but mostly by the stain he had made on his trench coat below the buckle."
"Ewww . . . well, at least he kept it in his pants."
by al-in-chgo March 20, 2011
Get the London Flogmug. "Pre-ejaculatory fluid" is the clnical medical way to say what most of us call "pre-cum" or "precum": the usually clear and viscous liquid seceted by the Cowper's Gland (a tiny gland inside the male's genito-urinary works) that precedes actual orgasm and ejaculation of semen ("cum").
The amount secreted as pre-ejaculatory fluid varies from nothing or next-to-nothing to a great amount. See basketball player.
The amount secreted as pre-ejaculatory fluid varies from nothing or next-to-nothing to a great amount. See basketball player.
The most popular brand of condom-safe sexual lubricant mimics very well the clearness, thickness (viscosity), slipperiness and slight stickiness of pre-ejaculatory fluid.
by al-in-chgo May 31, 2010
Get the pre-ejaculatory fluidmug. Origin probably military. A book soldier is a person caught up in details and procedures, but lacking in experience and insight. Typically used disparagingly, a book soldier typically is a bureaucrat or official of small import enforcing petty rules that the objects of his/her decision see as virtually meaningless. As a result of, or in compensation for, this focus on minute details, the book soldier secures his or her reputation by being, or described as being, head-smart not street-smart, or educated fool, or drone, lacking empathy and grace.
"Second Lieutenant Johnson" was the classic book soldier: He knew ROTC protocol but nothing about actual warfare, or how to handle a platoon for that matter. If he can't find it in the manual, he freaks out. That's why Sarge calls the shots."
"Jason is a sweet person in real life but at work, in Human Resources, he is a total book soldier. He told me once that one of the staff missed making Employee of the Month because of a two-minute discrepancy between the time clock and the sign-in sheet. I guess in a job like that, it pays to be anal, but fortunately that's not the Jason I usually see."
"Jason is a sweet person in real life but at work, in Human Resources, he is a total book soldier. He told me once that one of the staff missed making Employee of the Month because of a two-minute discrepancy between the time clock and the sign-in sheet. I guess in a job like that, it pays to be anal, but fortunately that's not the Jason I usually see."
by al-in-chgo September 10, 2010
Get the book soldiermug. Slang for porno stories printed in softcore skin magazines, generally designed to provoke and encourage masturbation. (Such magazines, that combine the stories with nude pictorial spreads and other features, are often called "stroke books").
by al-in-chgo February 21, 2010
Get the friction fictionmug. 1. The penis itself.
2. Specifically, an erect penis.
3. A representation of a phallus, often exaggerated, in art or myth.
4. A non-literal representation of phallic shape, intent or function.
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2. Specifically, an erect penis.
3. A representation of a phallus, often exaggerated, in art or myth.
4. A non-literal representation of phallic shape, intent or function.
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1. It's a little pompous to refer to one's penis as a phallus, but it is lexically correct.
2. A penis is for urination; when it becomes erect it is a phallus, serving sexual or reproductive purposes.
3. Two representations of phallus:
a. For example, a primitive sculpture that shows a grotesquely large penis is using the organ as a phallus to indicate fertility, or to represent masculine potency in general.
b. Similarly, the exaggerated genitalia in the work of gay artists such as Tom of Finland emphasize the erotic quality of the phallus, sometimes called hyper-masculinity.
4. A penis, phallus or idea of potency symbolized in an object. The most commonly used term, derived from Freudian psychoanalysis, is called a phallic symbol. One example of this is the very last shot of Hitchcock's 1959 thriller NORTH BY NORTHWEST, which wittily shows a passenger train plunging into a tunnel. Because of the prior plot, the audience knows very well that a train has erotic potential, so the last shot indicates sexual intercourse.
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2. A penis is for urination; when it becomes erect it is a phallus, serving sexual or reproductive purposes.
3. Two representations of phallus:
a. For example, a primitive sculpture that shows a grotesquely large penis is using the organ as a phallus to indicate fertility, or to represent masculine potency in general.
b. Similarly, the exaggerated genitalia in the work of gay artists such as Tom of Finland emphasize the erotic quality of the phallus, sometimes called hyper-masculinity.
4. A penis, phallus or idea of potency symbolized in an object. The most commonly used term, derived from Freudian psychoanalysis, is called a phallic symbol. One example of this is the very last shot of Hitchcock's 1959 thriller NORTH BY NORTHWEST, which wittily shows a passenger train plunging into a tunnel. Because of the prior plot, the audience knows very well that a train has erotic potential, so the last shot indicates sexual intercourse.
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by al-in-chgo March 14, 2010
Get the phallusmug.