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short for "As if!" ... used as an exclamation of doubt for the claims of another. Derogatry / superior - the utterer of this phrase does not trust the judgment of his colleague, it is a sign of disbeleif which edges towards disrespect.
"Never mind, I'll try harder next time"

"I'm the biggest beast in the jungle!"
"yeah right man, zif!"

"Tupac still lives man!"
"zif... you have to let go, man"

"I buy all me threads from Armani"
"zif - you looks like a chav from pahndstretcher"

"Honest governor I am not a 'omesexual, that was just an experiment"
"zif! you is a batty boy."
by PoleKat and SkodaBitch January 29, 2005
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Base from an acronym used in computer terms meaning "Zero Insertion Force" Also refers to a Loose whoe or skank and the defining fact being that it takes Zero Force for Insertion.
A: Did you see john went home with that ZIF?
B: Yeah, he'll be hittin' that Fa-Sho!
by Victoria, Lunch Box January 12, 2008
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Shortened form of as-if, used by those who find 'sif' to be a travesty of english. I mean really, " 'sif " would be alright, but sif, nah, while your killing the language, at least make it Phonetic.
zif you'd spell zif with an 's'
by Jacko November 29, 2003
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Shortened version of "As if!" Meaning a sarcastic "yeah, right" or "I'd rather die."
You know you want to sleep with me.

by Anonymous July 07, 2003
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A zif is a zero investment fuck aka a hook up.
"Hey are you and Jay together now?
"No hun he's just my zif"
by MMC74 July 19, 2019
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