The beginning scentence in a series of political and economic jokes. "You have two cows..." jokes began as a parody of typical intro-course material in college level economics featuring a "farmer in a moneyless society, using his cattle and produce to trade with his neighbors."
The cows are used as a metaphor for currency, capital, means of production, and property.
"Two cows" jokes typically portray an outsider's view on many cultural and economic issues using paradox, and sarcasm.
The cows are used as a metaphor for currency, capital, means of production, and property.
"Two cows" jokes typically portray an outsider's view on many cultural and economic issues using paradox, and sarcasm.
You have two cows ...
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.
CANADIANISM: You have two cows. The bank takes both of them, shoots one, throws away the milk and you shoot yourself.
SOVIET: You have two cows. You count them and realize you have
four cows. You drink more Vodka. You count the cows again and realize you have eleventy six cows. You drink even more Vodka. After a while, you realize that eleventy isn't a real number. You count the cows again and have two cows. You open another bottle of Vodka and try to drown the loss of eleventy four cows.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.
UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.
FRISBEETARIANISM: You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You hope the government provides cow ladders.
Intel Pentium 60 - A80501-60
You have 2.0000000056987983 cows.
In the marketing department
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of two thousand millicows!
Fact
You really have 0 cows.
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.
CANADIANISM: You have two cows. The bank takes both of them, shoots one, throws away the milk and you shoot yourself.
SOVIET: You have two cows. You count them and realize you have
four cows. You drink more Vodka. You count the cows again and realize you have eleventy six cows. You drink even more Vodka. After a while, you realize that eleventy isn't a real number. You count the cows again and have two cows. You open another bottle of Vodka and try to drown the loss of eleventy four cows.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.
UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.
FRISBEETARIANISM: You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You hope the government provides cow ladders.
Intel Pentium 60 - A80501-60
You have 2.0000000056987983 cows.
In the marketing department
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of two thousand millicows!
Fact
You really have 0 cows.
by Lillic0rr April 17, 2006
An expression that came about in Springfield, Illinois when a kid shouted at his friend, "You have two assholes!"
This expression is believed to show anger towards a friend, an enemy, or somebody you're just mad at.
This expression is believed to show anger towards a friend, an enemy, or somebody you're just mad at.
by The Crazy June 25, 2009
"now, if you two don't mind, i'm going to bed, before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed - or worse, expelled." - hemione granger
"she needs to sort out her priorities." - ronald weasley
"she needs to sort out her priorities." - ronald weasley
by hermione p October 12, 2023
I Love YOu Two THough Two You Love II Love YOu Two Door THrough Two You Love I
I Love YOu Two THough Two You Love II Love YOu Two Door THrough Two You Love I
by SuelTameOresuTeMato April 24, 2025
I Love YOu Two THough Two You Love I
I Love YOu Two THough Two You Love I
by SuelTameOresuTeMato April 24, 2025
What you say to a friend who has a girlfriend and they haven't kissed to make them feel awkward. Also to make fun of a friend who's interested in a girl and won't do anything.
Cody was meeting up with his girlfriend and his friends screamed you two should kiss.
Brian was invited to a party with a girl but he wouldn't do anything to her so his friends screamed you two should kiss.
Christian got depressed about his girlfriend leaving him and then tried to go after another but wouldn't do anything so is friends yelled you two should kiss.
Brian was invited to a party with a girl but he wouldn't do anything to her so his friends screamed you two should kiss.
Christian got depressed about his girlfriend leaving him and then tried to go after another but wouldn't do anything so is friends yelled you two should kiss.
by LEEDLE FUCKING LEE February 13, 2016