theistic evolution 

One's way of denying only enough reality to accept evolution but maintain religious beliefs.

When they discovered that evolution was undeniable, religious people got scared, but said to themselves; "Maybe creation is just a metaphor. I know, I'll invent theistic evolution so I'll be able to accept evolution and still believe in my magic sky fairy!"

theistic evolution by I_RAPE_PIZZAS July 4, 2016

Theistic Evolution

The belief that God created life using the evolutionary process as His method. It reconciles scientific evidence for common descent with religious belief in a purposeful creator. God is the author of the natural laws that produced evolution, and possibly intervenes in subtle, non-disruptive ways. It's the "compatible update" for religious belief, where the Bible's "days" are geologic epochs and Adam is a representative figure emerging from a population of hominins.

Example: "His bumper sticker read: 'Theistic Evolutionist: God's method is smarter than your literalism.' He saw the fossil record as God's grand, slow-burn novel, with natural selection as the plot mechanism and humanity's moral sense as the climax He always intended." Theistic Evolution

Theistic Evolution by Abzugal January 30, 2026