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warm the cuckolds of one's heart

A malapropism of the cliche "warm the cockles of one's heart" that simply means give one a comforting feeling of pleasure or contentment. Unlike the cliche, the malapropism suggests the heart to be something populated by cuckolds; the heart already cheats and is cheated by whatever it commits to; all the same there is pleasure or contentment in this.
Strumpets who throw bricks through our windows after we break it off with them warm the cuckolds of one's heart. It shows that they cared enough to be crazy.

THE FRENCH CUCKOLD 

A skinny, bearded, pale climber who hits on women by complimenting their climbing skills. He never succeeds, but his balls are boundless.
I saw THE FRENCH CUCKOLD at the climbing gym and he said to a woman "You are zuch a zmooth climber, bebbe. I am zo erratic up there." She nervously laughed and walked away.

THE FRENCH CUCKOLD asked a woman what level the climb she had just done was. She snarkily walked up to the wall and shouted the level out, ignoring him afterward.
THE FRENCH CUCKOLD by Tex Tile January 1, 2022

The Spanish Cockhold 

When you wrap both hands around somebody's dick and hold as hard as you can until is it pops.
Edon: Me and Moe pulled a The Spanish Cockhold in the church bathroom.

Joseph: Did you make sure to lick up all the sauce?

Edon: Yes