the jake

the feds
Federal agents

yo, everybody clear, it's the jake

by Countbass C August 21, 2003

The Jake

The one group of your friends who brings the party to any situation. Often drunk or at least smells like booze. The jake may wear the same hoodie for a few days in a row and he is a relevant excuse to you wife or girlfriend for being late, drunk or otherwise unattentive after a night out. You may avoid The Jake for a few weeks after an encounter.. the man is an animal. The jake can also polish off a bag of any salty snacks, swears around children and literally does not give fack about anything when he is being himself. The Jake will tell embellished stories about the good ol days. The Jake is extremly likeable in most settings in spite of his agressive nature and ability to stay awake for what may seem forever.

Man, I just realized yiu are The Jake of our friends.
I didn't want to be The Jake.

Animal party animal drunk douchebag

by Bringo5 May 10, 2018

The Jake

Mythological The one real egg head at Brigham Young University. Characterized by lack of bathing, putrid foot odor, crazy hair, and mod Clothes.

That guy has feet like the jake.

by idedontknow October 25, 2004

The Jake

A girl that eats shit and loves eating shit. She doesn't even want anything in return. A girl that just loves the shit.

I was gonna take a fat shit in the toilet, but instead the jake took it all in her mouth.

Does that girl really eat shit? Yea man, she is a total jake.

by Broass June 11, 2006

The Jake

N. A Whiny bitch in a group of friends that gets what he considers a girlfriend, but in reality she lives over 1000 miles away and has never seen her in person. And after said "girlfriend" breaks up with him, he whines and cries for days on end till he remembers he only needs his hand so he can at least beat off with it.

Example 1-

Friend 1 : "So how's your ex girlfriend, Jake?"

Jake: "SHUT UP! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY PAIN!!!"

Friend 2: "Really? You've never even banged her..."

Example 2- Friend

Friend 1: "Is Jake still crying over that girl?"

Friend2: " No he rediscovered his hand."

The Jake: " I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW. I'M TAKING YOU OFF MY FRIENDS LIST ON XBOX LIVE NOW! ASSHOLE!!"

*The Jake runs off and cries. Then beats off.*

Friend1: "Wow. What a shame..."

by Not Tenspeed. May 10, 2010

The Jake

A bathroom; the toilet. A place used to remove waste from the body.

Aight Jack im gonna go use the jake.

by Elon Musk is Ben Shapiro confi June 10, 2019

The Jake Stevens

When doing a girl from behind, you pull out a newspaper and start smacking her arse with it whilst whistling.

Mary was enjoying the sex until Joe pulled out the Evening herald and started hitting her with it whilst whistling in a very odd fashion. He later explained The Jake Stevens

by The Jake Stevens February 27, 2009