Stand at the top of a tall structure and make sure that there is something relatively soft such as grass, or a sleeping fat person, below. You should preferably be on the edge of some kind of overhang, such as a bridge.
Next, tie cheese wire around your neck - tight enough that it won't slip off under tension but loose enough not to choke you. Remember, you don't want to die looking like a Michael Hutchence wannabe. Nobody wants to be Michael Hutchence. Even Hutchence hated it.
Anyway, tie the cheese wire to something solid on top of the structure. Make sure that there is a good six or seven feet of slack. To traumatize any police, medical personnel or curious children who may investigate your corpse, write "I DID IT FOR THE LULZ!" across your chest. Now stand at the edge and glue your hands to the side of your head. If you are under the age of 16, you may wish to get a responsible but sociopathic adult to help you. Wait until your hands are glued solidly to your head. This has the added advantage of stopping you from calling for help if you change your mind.
Now jump off the structure. It'll only hurt for a second, when the cheese wire runs out of slack and slices through your neck. The overhang should stop you from bashing your now-severed head against the wall of the structure when the cutting motion jerks your body backwards.
You should hopefully land face down, although this is really out of your hands by now. Unlike your head, which is glued to them. This has the excellent effect of causing whoever finds your body to think that you have pulled your head off.
Next, tie cheese wire around your neck - tight enough that it won't slip off under tension but loose enough not to choke you. Remember, you don't want to die looking like a Michael Hutchence wannabe. Nobody wants to be Michael Hutchence. Even Hutchence hated it.
Anyway, tie the cheese wire to something solid on top of the structure. Make sure that there is a good six or seven feet of slack. To traumatize any police, medical personnel or curious children who may investigate your corpse, write "I DID IT FOR THE LULZ!" across your chest. Now stand at the edge and glue your hands to the side of your head. If you are under the age of 16, you may wish to get a responsible but sociopathic adult to help you. Wait until your hands are glued solidly to your head. This has the added advantage of stopping you from calling for help if you change your mind.
Now jump off the structure. It'll only hurt for a second, when the cheese wire runs out of slack and slices through your neck. The overhang should stop you from bashing your now-severed head against the wall of the structure when the cutting motion jerks your body backwards.
You should hopefully land face down, although this is really out of your hands by now. Unlike your head, which is glued to them. This has the excellent effect of causing whoever finds your body to think that you have pulled your head off.
by Friendly Hobo September 23, 2007
Get the the awesome mug.by iamholly.com April 7, 2005
Get the the awesome mug.Foul act of sexual misconduct. Performed on a completely passed out female. Performer takes two bags of shit and surgically inserts them into the female's tits. Then, once the female wakes up, the performer shouts, "The Awesome" and swings their hands in a forceful way onto the female's tits, causing the shit bags to explode painfully.
by Ben and Ben January 11, 2009
Get the The Awesome mug.by werdjack November 13, 2004
Get the the awesome mug.When 3 men standing in a triangle hold the penis of the man to their right and also his arm. When the other two assume this position it forms a blossom shape when viewed from above. Finally, all three move their arms simultaneously in a rapid side to side motion.
The Awesome Blossom is the Wesley Snipes of Dutch Rudders
David: "Jake and Nik, that was an awesome blossom we had last night."
David: "Jake and Nik, that was an awesome blossom we had last night."
by Sameeh January 12, 2010
Get the The Awesome Blossom mug.Refers to a person awesome in every way; one who excels in beauty, brains, wit, humor, integrity and anything else they attempt. Also commonly referred to as a Patti Burris.
by The Bombest May 11, 2010
Get the The Awesome Package mug.The awesome answer is used at a time when you think it is appropriate to answer to someones question with not the truth, but a more amazing story. usually spoken in a sarcastic, boasting manner.
TRUE ANSWER --
rando guy - "hey how'd you get that cut on yur finger?"
cool guy - "well i was slicing a hot dog the other day and the knife slipped and cut me.."
rando guy - "wow thats fucking dumb..."
THE AWESOME ANSWER -
rando guy - "hey how'd you get that cut on yur finger?"
cool guy - "well its funny you mention it rando guy, so the other day i was just fighting off some panthers in the rain forest, yeah i fell out of a tree and one of the panthers bit me..nbd really"
rando guy - "ZOMG thats pretty intense cool guy!"
rando guy - "hey how'd you get that cut on yur finger?"
cool guy - "well i was slicing a hot dog the other day and the knife slipped and cut me.."
rando guy - "wow thats fucking dumb..."
THE AWESOME ANSWER -
rando guy - "hey how'd you get that cut on yur finger?"
cool guy - "well its funny you mention it rando guy, so the other day i was just fighting off some panthers in the rain forest, yeah i fell out of a tree and one of the panthers bit me..nbd really"
rando guy - "ZOMG thats pretty intense cool guy!"
by ALMFFE December 7, 2010
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