Spastic's Handshake 

Named for the fact that mongs often don't know their own strength

"I fingered Sonya behind the bins at the YMCA last night, her fanny was as tight as a spastic's handshake"

Spastic's Handshake by HomesickFoetus September 14, 2020

Spastic Songster

Someone who consistently gets bored about halfway through a song and submits to the urge to skip to the next one; usually when everyone else in the car is still enjoying the current song.

Jim: "Seriously, stop forwarding to the next song after we hear the chorus!"

Joe: "Sorry, I can't help it. I'm a spastic songster."

Spastic Songster by smokingmole April 7, 2010

Spastic Squeaker 

A Spastic Squeaker is a type of person who always Squeaks when they talk, they also refuse being called a Squeaker.

most Squeakers are very retarded and they act like spastics all they time, they make fucking retarded body movements, sounds such as a fucking pterodactyl and make really dumb and retarded faces.

These fags are mostly found playing games such as Call Of Duty, Fortnite and Overwatch, they are also ultra common in a school playground or even any playground.

Sceptic: "HeY guYs ThAnks FOr The DOO NOO
28 year old in chat: " Kid you're fucking seven shut up you fucking spastic squeaker".
Sceptic: " REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Spastic Squeaker by McKFC February 2, 2019

Spastic Schlong 

A massive schlong that makes you go dumb once you get it good.

“My babe gave me some spastic schlong last night - I still walk with a limp!”

Spastic Schlong by mymumabusesourdoghelp September 19, 2019

Spastic shit cunt 

A definition of a useless human being

He's a fucking spastic shit cunt

Spastic shit cunt by Alan Batros November 17, 2023

Spastic finger syndrome 

When you type and can't seem to type correctly. Transposing letters in a word because one finger wants to keystroke before it should. When typing, adding a space in the middle of a word or where it does not belong. Constantly having to click backspace to correct the problem.

I don't know what my deal was in chat last night, must have been spastic finger syndrome.

Spastic finger syndrome by Trent Kuver May 7, 2008

Cone spastic 

A heavy marijuana user, since a common form of consumption is smoking via a cone through a bong.

"That guys stoned all the time, he's a real cone spastic"

Cone spastic by Tim Muirhead April 30, 2008