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The sexual act of an old man getting his "pipe" cleaned by a much younger, more attractive and typically blonde female while watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Usually followed by a tweet.

Considered statutory rape in other countries.
1) Hugh Hefner gets a shimkus every Monday to Thursday, but only regular sex when The Daily show and The Colbert Report go on hiatus, which is considerably more sex then either correspondent will have in a lifetime.

2) You're move Stephen.
Shimkus by Mr. Stephen Colbert November 21, 2011
Related Words
(v) to reverse cause and effect in order to create confusion in the subject being interrogated.
"Do you believe that as costs go up, supply goes down?"
--John Shimkus(R), Illinois to Lisa Jackson, US EPA Administrator, on 2/9/11 in a congressional forum. To which she replied, “It depends on the elasticity of the cost curve.”
shimkus by Capital Crescent February 28, 2011
Another term for a dick, penis, or falis. Or someone who is one.
Brenden fucked my mom in the ass last night! He's such a shymkus!

I have herpes on my shymkus!
Shymkus by Seniorcakeman August 23, 2011
cross between not gitting shit and bupkus.

Nothing
We shut them down, they couldn't get shitkus off our Defense.
shitkus by Sam Unnerstall November 10, 2008
Shimpus is a person who is not bound by the regular physics of the world. A shimpus is fluid as a being; all and nothing at the same time. Different from God in the fact that Shimpus's are real and God isn't.
Wow, you are a shimpus!!
You must be a shimpus because you just blew earth version 102085822920051576 all the way up!
shimpus by Lochis April 20, 2020
a high quality ship with a lot of potential from Detroit become human between Markus and Simon
I ship Simkus
Simkus by dbhdoggos May 28, 2020
More from Urban Dictionary
anyone who succeeds in disgracing/over indulging themselves in the throws of clubland
28 hours and 4 clubs later, gurning for england but still refusing to go home - a total wrongun!!
wrongun by bevvers March 21, 2007
Word of the Day on October 8, 2026

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
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