second-generation enabling
Refers to either of two equally-unhealthy practices that seemingly "skips a place" in the chain of progression, but has a comparably-negative result --- Person A acts as a financial "crutch" for Person B, allowing Person B to continue his dissipative lifestyle:
(1) Where you do not beg resources directly (i.e., "first generation" enabling) from a financially-solvent person who is sick of your mooching, but you instead ask your "benefactor" to extend charity to your equally "spongy" offspring (i.e., you shamelessly take advantage of the person's "family man" nature by using the pathetically-manipulative "cute cherub-faced kiddos" or "they'll only be young once, so I wanna give them a decent childhood" pressure-excuse), or
(2) You don't request a certain amount of money --- say, twenty bucks --- from the disgruntled "provider" for "excessive/addictive/self-abusive" products (i.e., tobacco, alcohol, lottery tickets, unnecessary "pretty things", etc.) that he refuses to provide you with, but you instead ask him for that same twenty bucks to purchase "basic necessities" like simple groceries or household/repair products that he HAS agreed to help you out with obtaining... the catch, of course, is that you spend your OWN twenty bucks on those other unhealthy/senseless purchases instead of spending it on the healthful basics that your friend is giving you money for, and so in the end you are still getting him to make it possible for you to continue your unwise/unhealthy lifestyle.
(1) Where you do not beg resources directly (i.e., "first generation" enabling) from a financially-solvent person who is sick of your mooching, but you instead ask your "benefactor" to extend charity to your equally "spongy" offspring (i.e., you shamelessly take advantage of the person's "family man" nature by using the pathetically-manipulative "cute cherub-faced kiddos" or "they'll only be young once, so I wanna give them a decent childhood" pressure-excuse), or
(2) You don't request a certain amount of money --- say, twenty bucks --- from the disgruntled "provider" for "excessive/addictive/self-abusive" products (i.e., tobacco, alcohol, lottery tickets, unnecessary "pretty things", etc.) that he refuses to provide you with, but you instead ask him for that same twenty bucks to purchase "basic necessities" like simple groceries or household/repair products that he HAS agreed to help you out with obtaining... the catch, of course, is that you spend your OWN twenty bucks on those other unhealthy/senseless purchases instead of spending it on the healthful basics that your friend is giving you money for, and so in the end you are still getting him to make it possible for you to continue your unwise/unhealthy lifestyle.
Be wary of anyone who agreeably says, "Okay, fine --- I won't ask you for any more money for unhealthy stuff; I'll use my own funds for them. But please do give me some money for those "basic necessities" that you said you WOULD buy for me." Well, don't you see --- that's really the same destructive deal when all's said and done --- oh, sure, the person may indeed not be "directly" asking you to buy him cigarettes, but the person is merely using the last of his **own** money for them, and then asking you for money to buy the groceries that he himself could have purchased if he hadn't spent his last dollar on coffin-nails! It doesn't really matter where your added funds are "injected:" into the person's budget --- it's still just second-generation enabling!
second-generation enabling by QuacksO June 8, 2018
Urban Dictionary Merch