rheumatism Share definition Flag What you tell the doctor you have when you go to a clinic and try and score some Oxycontin or Lortab. "I don't know what's causing all this back pain, but some pills sure would make it better!" rheumatism by Someone with unknown back pain. January 20, 2005 0 0 Get merch Get the rheumatism mug. Buy Now — $32.95 See more merch