redneck commandments

the 10 commandments for rednecks
1.) thou must marry thine sister.
2.) thou must consume copious amounts of alcohol.
3.) thou mustn't achieve greater education than grade 8.
4.) thou must live in a broken down house or trailer park.
5.) thou mustn't bathe more than twice per year.
6.) thou must have many children, many pets, and have your parents live in the attic.
7.) thou must watch NASCAR.
8.) thou must wear plaid and a trucker hat.
9.) thou must live in the USA or Canada.
10.) thou must own a beaten up truck

the lost commandments
11.) thou must listen to country.
12.) thou must vote for bush.
13.) thou must make moonshine.
14.) thou mustn't pay taxes.
15.) thou must hate your neighbor.
16.) thou must disapprove of newcomers.
17.) thou must salute the trucker.
18.) thou must only eat game you find (road) and kill, yourself.
19.) thou have a rocking chair on your porch.
20.) thou must play the banjo.

-road trip through Alabama-
-stop at a gas station-
-get out and fill up-
guy 1 "hmm?"
-locals stare and talk to each other-
-guy 1 gets back into car-
-guy 1 to guy 2- " those guys are kind of creeping me out. Can you guess why they're doing that?"
guy 2 "have no idea. You might want to check in with them redneck commandments."

by leviathantheinsane June 14, 2013