punch the monkey

To click on a banner ad, in particular one that might load spyware/malware on your computer.

Idiot: My computer is full of popups and viruses.
Tech: Antivirus can't catch everything. Back off the sketchy porn sites, and don't punch the monkey.

by schflyatz March 28, 2010

Punch the Monkey

The act of of fisting a ginger with a full 70’s bush.

During sex the girl asks “Hey baby, I’m really hot tonight, do you want to Punch the Monkey?”

by AK32125 February 27, 2026

Punch the monkey's head in

To stroke one's penis vigorously, particularly the head; to masturbate; to jack off; to flog one's self; to "take care of business"; to wank

Little Johnny was about to punch the monkey's head in when his mum walked into his room unannounced causing much embarrassment for both parties

by Retrovertigo April 26, 2010

The One, Two Monkey Punch

A really quick masturbation session, less then one minute. Normally performed in haste in someone else's house while pretendig to use the bathroom. Not to be confused with the "One Ham Slam" that can occur with just one, quick and almost violent pull of the male penis to reach ejaculation.

He only looks happy because he just pulled off the one, two monkey punch in the mall bathroom after seeing your hot Mom.

by D Bokeyno October 9, 2008