To those who thought there couldn't be worse than that couple slobbering noisily all over each other centimetres from your own face at rush hour on the tube (Public Displays of Affection) - think again.
There'
s always
Pathetic Displays of Affection. These usually occur when one or both parties is irretrievably inebriated. Sometimes followed by convenient memory loss the morning after the night before and/or
heavy regret and shame felt by one or both parties.
Almost without fail intoxication-related,
Pathetic Displays of Affection can be physical or virtual - in which case, thanks to the
miracle of modern technology, they can take the various but inevitably excruciating forms of drunken dialling, texting or even, more permanently so, emailing and instant messaging.
Pedro, spare us all the PDA (
Pathetic Displays of Affection) and the ensuing wingeing phone call to me about how mortified you are. There is no world in which it's a good idea to tell this Madeleine
girl you just met at the bar that you want to marry her and impregnate her shortly afterwards. Even if she IS a hot blonde blue-eyed
Swede.
