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One eyed jack 

A person who shows the good side of themselves, while hiding the other side of themselves as being incredibly repulsive, insincere, malicious, and untrustworthy.
You are a one eyed jack around these parts, Dan. I have seen the other side of your face.
One eyed jack by Lexus Nexus July 3, 2014

one eyed jack 

A one-eyed jack is, in a standard deck of cards, the Jack of Spades or the Jack of Hearts, both of which are seen in profile (and thus only one eye is seen).
My pair of one eyed jacks blew away her pair of eights
one eyed jack by socioclast83 October 25, 2008

One Eyed Jack 

While skull fucking someone in their eye socket, the person pulls out and jerks off on to the socket they were previously penetrating.
James: How'd it go with Julia the other night?

Josh: Not good. She didn't put out so I found some guy down by the train tracks and gave em the ol' One Eyed Jack.

James: Nice dude.
One Eyed Jack by Paikun November 6, 2017

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.