Jesus Shit 

When you take a shit that is wet enough that it easily slides out your ass but hard enough that it leaves no residue, so the person doesn't have to wipe their ass.

"Jesus shits are hard to get" said James.

Jesus Shit by me1342 July 11, 2006

Jesus shit 

Great profanity for stubbing toes, realising you haven't paid your rent, seeing the bus you were supposed to catch drive by through the window, exclamation in the middle of an amazing story and discovering that your house is on fire

Person 1: Dude is that your house that's on fire?
Person 2: Oh my god thats my house that's on fire?
Person 1: Your house is so on fire right now.
Person 2: Jesus shit my house really is on fire right now.
Person 1: You should probably do something about that.
Person 2: I think your right, i should probably do something about that.
Toby: Is that your house thats on fire, Person 2?
Person 1 and 2: Shut the fuck up Toby! Jesus shit...

Jesus shit by Person's 1 and 2 (Toby's dead) February 4, 2010

Jesus shit 

a generic exclamation of shock

Jesus Shit! You scared the hell out of me

Jesus shit by Sylvia May 7, 2004

Jesus Shit 

A shit that you flush, but it comes back into the bowl. The toilet is not clogged as a result of the Jesus shit. It is metaphorical to the fact that Jesus Christ was killed, but came back afterward.

Emily: Ahh, what a great shit I have just taken,
*Flush*
Emily: What? It came back? This must be a Jesus Shit.

OR

Phil: I heard Emily flush, but when I went in to piss, there was a shit in the toilet. It wasn't clogged though.
George: A true Jesus Shit for ya.

Jesus Shit by Albertkjfdahi August 25, 2010

Jesus Shit 

The best food in the world, straight from the ass of jesus or barbers oven

Barber you fat shit give me your Jesus Shit

Jesus Shit by Mats Miller December 9, 2008

Jesus Shit

After defecating, when one goes to wipe with toilet paper and discovers there is no feces to clean. Of all his numerous amazing feats & miracles, we can assume wipe-less bathroom sessions was among them. This act can also be called a "Holy Shit".

Wow, I just took the most amazing "Jesus Shit". What a way to start the day!

Jesus Shit by MLS17 January 15, 2026

Jesus Shit the Bed Christ 

A term used to address an event of either unbelievable, hilarious or ridiculous measure. These 5 words should only be used to address the occurence when it is of huge magnitude.

(Note - heavily accenting the 'Ch' in Christ always adds great emphasis upon deliverance of the phrase.)

First began to circulate in Essex, after a truly remarkable display of football acrobatics during a friendly game of 6-a-side, the phrase has now picked up a few more scenarios to be used in.

1) 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ! Did you just see that fucking goal?!'

2? 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ, that truly was the fucking funniest thing I've ever seen.'

3) 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ, did you just see that bitch spit a Melon out of her arse?!'

Jesus Shit the Bed Christ by TerranceGrapes April 24, 2011