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An extremely amazing penis which is not only long, but has girth and is pretty to look at.
"Dude, kyle has got a jesus penis!"
by kkbabi April 12, 2010
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2
When any male has a tattoo of Jesus inscribed upon their penis in any location.

Done so that during penetration, the man can say to the woman. "Can you feel that? You have Jesus inside you."
Woman: "Oh, Jim! That feels fantastic!"
Jim: "I knew getting a Jesus Penis was a great idea. Doesn't sex always feel better when you've got Jesus inside you?"
Woman: "DAMN RIGHT IT DOES!"
by RaptorJesus666 December 05, 2009
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3
a phrase yelled not spoken when taken by surprise or pissed off.
Player1: (frags opponent on COD4)"YEAAAHH"
Player2: "JESUS PENIS"
by Ollie from the Mist March 30, 2008
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4
A term often yelled when either in a great debate, and or a pissed off mood.
Dawson: "Jesus Penis! These scrotum licking daddybag bitches keep reaming my rim in Halo!"

Shawn: "Wait what the fuck is jesus penis?"

Dawson: "Oh, you know!" (winks at Shawn)

Shawn: "Love you hubby."

Dawson: "Love you too hubster."
by Dawsy Boi September 21, 2011
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5
An asshole bitch named Charlotte who takes ur stuff and ships you with people that she clearly likes
Me: sits
Jesus penis: WHY TF YOU FOLLOWING ME FRANKIE GO SIT ON EVRETTS LAP
by Frankie bird boy April 24, 2019
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