hairanoia

A disturbed thought process characterized by excessive fear and anxiety that everyone is staring at your hair and making fun of you for it.

Tara's extreme hairanoia compelled her to wear a hat until her bangs grew out. They said she was just being hairanoid, but she swore they were all laughing!

by Kristina F. September 6, 2007

hairanoia

The irrational and compulsive sense that one's hair is wrong or out of place.

Nancy Grace kept flipping her bangs back into place, suggesting mild hairanoia.

by lingtuist1 July 9, 2009

Hairanoia

Persistent, increasing worry--rational or irrational--of receding hairline or balding.

Mark's hairanoia became so extreme, he began taking photos of his scalp daily to see if his hairline was receding.

by The guy who played Waldo Faldo April 21, 2015

Chairanoia

A feeling of fear and paranoia while riding an exposed chairlift at a ski resort. The sensation resembles fear of heights or vertigo. It often induces feelings of queasiness in one's stomach, and in severe cases, it has been known to induce weenie tickle. Chairanoia can happen to anyone, including experienced skiers who are extremely stoned or suffering from a bad case of hangxiety.

Dude, I can't pull tubes before skiing at Jackson. Going over those cliffs on the Sublette lift gives me mad chairanoia.

by theycallmebfp March 6, 2017

HAIRANOID

When you are overly concerned about hair loss...

When you are obsessively worried that your hair might be out of place and silly looking...

When you can't stop worrying that your toupee-weave-extension-wig and or hair piece / hair system will one day be discovered...

YOU BECOME: "HAIRANOID"

Bro 1: "OMG if I develop hair loss and have to get a weave strapped or stapled onto my head I will never find a female who will love me for me!! "

Bro 2: "Dude shaddup, you're just being hairanoid"

by Stew Pidassal October 28, 2023

Chairanoia

Fear that the chair you are sitting on is going to crumble under the weight of your fat ass.

The cheap plastic lawn furniture gave him chairanoia so he opted to stand. Just because you're chairanoid, doesn't mean your chair isn't going to break.

by Benjin5 June 23, 2019