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hair straightener

A haircare tool that looks like a pair of barbecue tongs. There are two bits of metal on the inside of the 'tongs', and when you plug the straightener in, flick 'On', and select how hot you want it to go, the bits of metal will become extremely hot. DO NOT be a dumbass and grab the wrong side (I've never done that - ahem). Brush your hair out, add some heat protection balm or spray if you don't want your hair to fry, and then select a half-inch amount of hair, and clamp the two sides of the straightener together, running down the hair. Do this a few times and the hair will be left looking straight. The hotter the setting, the straigher your hair will be, but it will also be more damaging. Hair straightening is easier on thin hair than thick hair.

When the straightening is finished, mist your hair with hair spray, gloss sheen, a/o other styling products. If it's a misty or humid day outside your hair will instantly puff up and frizz as soon as you step outside -- this is why you need to make sure you're straightening your hair on a day that is pretty dry and sunny.

Your straight hair will last until you take a shower and wash your hair. If you're lucky, the hair will be left in the exact same condition as you started out with. If you're not so lucky, your hair will be left looking like you stuck a finger in an electric socket until you go to the hairdresser and get a deep conditioning treatment.
The best hair straighteners to use are the ceramic ones. The ionic ones are good too, and let's not forget the mother of all hair straightners, CHI.
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Hair Straightener

When pubic hair is caught in the foreskin of an uncircumcised penis; usually in a painful way. Almost always accidental.
Dude, I got a gnarly Hair Straightener last night!
Hair Straightener by wordier January 10, 2014

hair straightener hickey 

burns on the neck from hair straighteners that look like hickeys.
Everyone thought it was a real hickey, but it was just a hair straightener hickey.

Arkansas hair straightener 

The act of jizzing in a woman's hair and putting her hair in your ass. After, clench your cheeks and pull the hair through, in order to straighten it.
Yesterday Aidan and I did the Arkansas hair straightener and it worked like a charm. My hair has never been more straight.

straightening hair 

An obsessive action done by women and sometimes men to create an illusion that they have STRAIGHT hair.
Is Betty done straightening hair for the day?
straightening hair by Emily Gibson January 22, 2009

straightening my hair 

a heated device where you put your hair in between to hot plates and it makes them straight. the people using them either want to have straight hair, or look like asians.
straightening my hair will work perfectly for my asian halloween costume!

straightening my hair 

using an outrageously expensive heating device that slowly kills your hair in order to make it straight like asian hair
Look at what straightening my hair did!
straightening my hair by dancerxox9 October 16, 2008
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Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
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New York and everyone from there can fornicate themselves with an iron stick.
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