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The Third question asked of alt.alien.vampire.flonk.fonk.flonk , after 'Are you guys really aliens?' and 'Are you guys really vampires?' is invariably 'What's a flonk?'. You know or you don't, like why you ride Harleys and why moonign police officers when you're pissed seems funny.
Imagine this; you wake up in the morning hung over from the night before, where you got so drunk it was unbelievable. your clammy body is wrapped haphazardly in the remains of your beddin and your pet dwarf albino rhesus monkey is trying to split your skull with a fire axe. you do the only sane thing, jam the dwarf albino rehsus monkey head first into a segrams seven container and duct tape the lid down before going back to sleep to let the hang over go away. 4 hours later you consider it wise to take your pet box o' psychosis to the vet. in the waiting room there is you there is a girl with a complexion like an orange, an enormous bag of jelly babies and a duck with a neurological disorder, and a constipated alsation with it's 7 foot owner. The alsation goes in and there is nothign happening for about 5 hours. finally, having watched your demented charge bounce his liquor carton around the surgery still waving the axe through a rent in the side, the nurse lets you through. The vet, a Mr Wolf (who finds his name funny in that dry ironic way), says he'd love to see your dwarf albino rhesus monkey but he promised to teach his son to play ball, so could you come back tomorrow and wait again, can he walk you to the car and do you like his new aluminium bat? At this point the monkey breaks loose and lunges for the vet. the vet swings the bat instinctively and splatters the monkey onto the wall, square over a poster of a kitten hanging by one claw, jokingly labelled 'Hangin' in there'. You think it's funny to see the irony of the monkey, adhered by its own diseased guts under such an inapropriate epitaph. the girl comes in to see what the laughing is, and sees the mess. she vomits on the duck. the duck expresses his displeasure. this is a flonk. there are others. thanks to Ricky C for the original and much longer definition this is based on.
by Ethics Gradient January 30, 2004
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The last three words on the newsgroup alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk. Possibly some 1337 nerd thing that no mere mortal shall ever be party to.
"That's stupid, even for you. Are you the only person in AUK, AdotF
and the Flonk who doesn't know what Biff does?"
by sodapop November 20, 2003
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verb To Flonk: To stimulate the male sexual organ. Especially auto-stimulation in a noisy manner. This word definitely has onomatopoetic characteristics. Synonym: Masturbate.
Did you spend all night flonking it to softcore porn?

Ivar flonks constantly.

The internet results in highly flonktastic behavior on the part of the male population.
by meson537 February 14, 2008
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