Dick Shelf 

A place for a man to rest his penis after sex.

Friend 1: Aw man I just had the best threesome of my life, mind if I use this as a dick shelf?
Friend 2: Dude, that's my keyboard!

or

Friend 2: Dude, that's my girlfriend's head!
Friend 1: Yea, she makes a good dick shelf.

Dick Shelf by FishHookers February 24, 2008

Shelf Dick 

When a man's dick is so small and feeble that it perches on his ball-sack acting as a shelf. Consequently, his piss runs down his balls before it reaches the toilet.

I dated this one girl for three months until she pulled down my pants and saw my shelf dick.

"Excuse me nurse..I do not know how to apply this catheter there are no instructions for if you have a shelf dick."

Bob: "Hey Ricky why do you sit down when you piss and it sounds like a leaky pipe?"

Ricky: "I was born with a shelf dick. If I stand up I will just piss all over myself."

Shelf Dick by 352 Boys April 23, 2011

Top Shelf Dick 

Phrase of endearment coined by the infamous C. Storm. Humbly referring to another man possesing the following qualities: a) tall, b)a brother of Sigma Chi, c)plays basketball, d)fancies red-heads, e) has a large penis.

"Wow, Trudi is going to date Joe Brown. She's going to get some Top Shelf Dick."

Also see the following words: "Storm," "Joe Brown"

Top Shelf Dick by Christian "Oaf" Storm January 5, 2009

Dick On The Shelf 

Dick On The Shelf or D.O.T.S refers to a strategy girls use when their relationship falls through or their routine dick appointmentgoes south on them. This commonly occurs when the guy is not hip enough to realize that he's been put on the back burner until she has use for him. Until then, he will not hear from said female because she's "busy".

Buddy 1: Weird thing just happened. This girl that I haven't heard from in weeks just waved to me on Facebook because I'm nearby.
Buddy 2: Yeah her F.W.B just ended and you're her Dick On The Shelf
Buddy 1: Dick on the shelf ?
Buddy 2: Yup, D.O.T.S homie.

Dick On The Shelf by Syrpgangwaffuldaeus August 3, 2018

dick selfie 

The male equivalent of the female "selfie"
When a male takes multiple pictures of his penis and saves them in his phone in order to later send and wordlessly request sexual favors from a female
This version of the "selfie" is similar to it's female counterpart in the sense that the male takes a handful of pictures of the same penis but at different angles, positions, soft, hard, chubby and even in different locations (whatever is most flattering)

Do you think she'd prefer this hard dick selfie I took in my car or the one where my penis is soft but in good lighting?

But first, let me take a dick selfie.

dick selfie by hkam May 11, 2014

Selfie Dick

A dick so large, all one can do with it is take a selfie.

He dropped his pants, revealing this massive selfie dick! I couldn't take it so I just pulled out my phone...

Selfie Dick by Twosip September 13, 2017

Self dick loving gay 

A man who records themselves having sex and then goes back and watches coz they love their own dick so much

You’d watch your own porn. Your such a self dick loving gay

Self dick loving gay by Nowivehearditall September 18, 2021