by cainsworld September 6, 2009
1. phrase used to reply to a person, of inferior mental capacity, when he/she talks shit about things he has no fucking clue about (usually used to quickly end an argument with one who knows fuck all!)
Used at international political conferences when replying to idiotic world leaders' statements (e.g. George W. Bush), to those that dispute war crimes (e.g. the Jewish holocaust, Armenian genocide, etc.), or those who dispute historical truths (e.g. the Ancient Egyptians built the pyramids, Alexander the Great was hellene, Hitler was a monster, etc.) When any of these statements are made, intelligent folks reply to the Cretin with "Buy a Clue!"
by alphaomegatozed September 26, 2009
The act of attacking a stupid person (usually with a clue bat, clue-by-four, or LART) in hopes of beating a clue into them. Similar to 'assault and battery' but with the hopes of making the victim less stupid.
Luser: "I cant find the 'any' key!"
Tech: "You are about to be a victim of Clue Battery."
Luser: "Huh?"
Tech: <grabs clue-by-four and leaps over store counter> *WHACK*
Tech: "You are about to be a victim of Clue Battery."
Luser: "Huh?"
Tech: <grabs clue-by-four and leaps over store counter> *WHACK*
by Darcin March 16, 2007
Blue’s Clues
by Momma just sexy July 21, 2019
In most geek communities, being hit by a clue-by-four is generally a sign that the hitter (person doing the hitting) believes the hittee (person being hit) to be an inferior form of life and therefore in need of a good whalloping.
In the past the idea behind the clue-by-four was that you were beating some sense into the hittee. Unfortunately it was later discovered that being hit on the head with a large wooden plank with "CLUE" written on it actually caused a loss of brain cells in the hittee. When you consider that the original intention of the hitter was to provide the hittee with some in the first place, this then put the hittee in a deficit of brain cells. Life, the universe, and everything being what it is, likes to be in a state of balance. So in order to solve the problem of the brain-cell deficit, the hittee would proceed to ask ever increasingly stupid questions causing the original hitter to smack his or her head against a wall, therefore restoring the balance.
For the purpose of beating sense into people, the clue-by-four was replaced by a large foam clue bat which has much the same result as the clue-by-four except does not kill what few brain cells the hittee may or may not already possess. Though the tool of choice now is the foam clue bat, the clue-by-four is still in regular use. It was renamed to the "Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool" which was then shortened to LART.
The key difference between the two tools, though they have the same origins, is what implications of being hit by one might have to your standing in the community that you are a part of.
To be hit with a large foam clue bat signifies that the hitter believes you are being immensely stupid and need correcting in a way that you will never forget, for your own good. Being LARTed is somewhat more common despite it's neurological implications and the fact that it is generally more serious. To be LARTed means that the hitter believes you have done or said something mind-bubblingly stupid and must be punished for your crime. You are not expected to gain anything from the experience as no friendly "constructive criticism" or advice will be given with the LARTing.
It has been theorized is that being hit by a clue-by-four only dislodges the slower, denser brain cells allowing the faster, smarter brian cells more chance of forming rational thought. The tests, however, have been inconcluive; showing positive results in only 42% of subjects.
In the past the idea behind the clue-by-four was that you were beating some sense into the hittee. Unfortunately it was later discovered that being hit on the head with a large wooden plank with "CLUE" written on it actually caused a loss of brain cells in the hittee. When you consider that the original intention of the hitter was to provide the hittee with some in the first place, this then put the hittee in a deficit of brain cells. Life, the universe, and everything being what it is, likes to be in a state of balance. So in order to solve the problem of the brain-cell deficit, the hittee would proceed to ask ever increasingly stupid questions causing the original hitter to smack his or her head against a wall, therefore restoring the balance.
For the purpose of beating sense into people, the clue-by-four was replaced by a large foam clue bat which has much the same result as the clue-by-four except does not kill what few brain cells the hittee may or may not already possess. Though the tool of choice now is the foam clue bat, the clue-by-four is still in regular use. It was renamed to the "Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool" which was then shortened to LART.
The key difference between the two tools, though they have the same origins, is what implications of being hit by one might have to your standing in the community that you are a part of.
To be hit with a large foam clue bat signifies that the hitter believes you are being immensely stupid and need correcting in a way that you will never forget, for your own good. Being LARTed is somewhat more common despite it's neurological implications and the fact that it is generally more serious. To be LARTed means that the hitter believes you have done or said something mind-bubblingly stupid and must be punished for your crime. You are not expected to gain anything from the experience as no friendly "constructive criticism" or advice will be given with the LARTing.
It has been theorized is that being hit by a clue-by-four only dislodges the slower, denser brain cells allowing the faster, smarter brian cells more chance of forming rational thought. The tests, however, have been inconcluive; showing positive results in only 42% of subjects.
Don't get hit by a clue by four.
by kodiac1 July 5, 2006
by Mavericklax4 March 27, 2007
When a woman suddenly and obviously stops drinking alcohol, causing you to figure out that she's pregnant.
Meredith always has a couple glasses of wine at parties, but the last two nights she's ordered a diet coke. Dude, she's dropping booze clues.
by tyleha June 26, 2015