Skip to main content

arsecrack 

The source of various beautiful entities such as arsegravy, arsemonsters, and in the case of people with their heads lodged up their arses, chatter. This latter example can be summed up with the increasingly popular yet still underused phrase "chatting out of one's arsecrack".
We salute you almighty arsecrack, the symbol for all things good and pure. And if anyone disagrees, they are chatting out of their arsecrack!
arsecrack by Jimmy Bob-Bob March 25, 2012

chatting out of one's arsecrack 

To most this phrase seems unfamiliar until it is explained that this is the historical precursor to the frequently used and highly popular word chatinowtuvisarscruck, most commonly heard whilst urinating in the vicinity of a public house or bar. After decades of research, linguists have finally concluded that the genesis of this phrase dates back to 1654 when early missionaries discovered the small mid-pacific island known locally by the mutant inhabitants as Paaahrrrrumpiturrruumph, their erroneous DNA strands having caused each of their digestive-vocal systems to have formed backwards. In modern times, the phrase has become synonymous with the performances of the UK's one man freak show "David Cameron", who has yet to utter a single a word that has not been born from within his arse, as this is where his head is permanently lodged.
"I have reason to believe that the message one is currently attempting to convey may not be entirely true, or at least is to a significant degree fabricated. Therefore, I find it not disproportionately crass to assert that one is chatting out of one's arsecrack!"

Asscrack of dawn 

The asscrack of dawn is the time of day just before the crack of dawn when it is just about still dark; it is the time at which one might get out of bed if attending an urgent appointment at the crack of dawn.
John woke up at the asscrack of dawn with the intent to get to the shops just as they opened for the post-christmas sales in order to avoid getting trampled buy eager bargain-hunters.
Asscrack of dawn by fluorescent April 17, 2009

Asscrack Consciousness 

The natural ability to feel when ones asscrack is exposed to the public.
I felt wind between the valleys when I bent over to pick up the fork. Thank Goodness my asscrack consciousness kicked in so that I could cover up. Had it remained exposed, Stacy's parents would have seen my asscrack.

Asscrackistan 

Any third world shithole with a desert where a military person would NOT want to be sent.
"Hey brother, where are you headed next?"

"Who knows? Probably another year in Asscrackistan."
Asscrackistan by Spork134 September 22, 2008

asscrack tomatoes 

Cherry tomatoes grown between the “cheeks,” around one’s asshole, sprouted from the dark, hairy, brown environment.
A fave hobby of the incarcerated male, asscrack tomatoes can be added to the typically vitamin and enzyme deficient salads routinely served by the state.