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Cooked your own spleen 

"A well known expression for a newspaper closing" - David Mitchell

To put yourself into a unfortunate/self-damaging situation where the blame cannot be successfully shifted onto someone else i.e. Shooting yourself in the foot
Phil: Did you get to shag that slag from oceana?
James: Nah fam, got too wasted and passed out
Phil: You've cooked your own spleen, there!
James: I know, bruv

Mike G: Did you break up with Lydia?
Marcel: Nope. Told her I loved her by accident.
Mike G: CYOS.

Reginald Poshington: Hello there old chap! How goes it?
Rogers Chestertonmastercard IV: Not so well, I'm afraid old sport. I just heard back from the Regatta Club and it seems my work to further the segregation amongst the races within my rugby club, albeit a step back into the ways of the splendour of Uncle Adolf, served as a conflict of interests and hence they have heaved me from the running to become a partner. Daddy won't be pleased at all.
Reginald: Well then, old spice! You've cooked your own spleen, haven't you?
Rogers: In deed! This is TRULY a recipe for disaster

News of the world's last headline: "We've Cooked Our Own Spleen"

Splamining your Spleeds 

To describe having friends over and they're all stoned as fuck and doing dumb but funny shit
Wibigiblades..
Ok bro stop splamining your spleeds
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED
An armpit enthusiast — typically of the scent, appearance, and touch of hairy underarms.
That dude’s such a pitpig, I have to wear deodorant to keep him at bay.
Pitpig by wimbledon May 28, 2026
Word of the Day on May 29, 2026

You the birthday

You the birthday-you the point, you the topic, the reason we here, can be used as a compliment / u looking good or silly/trolling
Nah fr, you the birthday, you got all the attention.
You the birthday by Dev-in April 4, 2026
Word of the Day on May 28, 2026

church hurt 

church hurt is where you experience a degree of distance, pain, or judgement from your church community. Essentially, you are just unable to “find your place”. This is prevalent in the Christian community, but can be extended to other religions.
Now that I am an adult I am beginning to heal from the church hurt that was inflicted on me as a child.
Word of the Day on May 27, 2026
Huge. Surpassing normal expectations.
I was fishing with a Spinner Bait and a HONKIN pike came after it and hit it . Felt like a lawnmower running over a brick.
honkin by R. LaJoy December 26, 2005
Word of the Day on May 26, 2026