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You Need Jesus 

Phrase used to convey the idea that a person's words or actions are of questionable morality or virtue.
Dude: Man, I should SO kill that hooker right now.
Dude2: You need Jesus.
You Need Jesus by Whistledink April 7, 2010

You need to talk to Jesus 

You full of shit; you can tell that dung pudding story to someone else!
You need to talk to Jesus! He might forgive you, but I don't!

you need a cactus up your ass 

One who deserves pain in the gluteus Maximus such as the person (maggie) who needs to be told, you need a cactus up your ass

You need some milk 

Your response When someone gets recked,embarrassed or even acting crazy.
*Person falls on face*
Response:YOU NEED SOME MILK!

you need some milk 

when a person whines too damn much like a baby
Why you keep gettin upset, you need some milk

You need Jesus! 

Its the act of telling someone they need a whole lotta help; referring to people who are way past the point of return
Bethany: I have a foot fetish
Mike: You need Jesus!
Bethany: OMG I know