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toyota land cruiser

Large Ute or SUV usually seen towing horse floats, on school runs, being towed by Nissan Safari's and rescued from sticky situations by Mitsubishi Pajero's.
Generally have reliability issues and little off road ability
Popular choice of vehicle for unrecognized militia groups in the middle east
Being defined as"That Bloke with the Toyota Land Cruiser is stuck on a curb again."
by foldeddeckchair April 22, 2017
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Toyota Land Cruiser

A literal tank shaped like an SUV, and it's big brother of the legendary 4Runner!
They were released in the early 1950s as military based Jeep-like vehicles as the building structure on it still is to this day. Unfortunately Toyota stopped all sales on their new ones in North America in 2021 due to not having as much popularity as the Sequoias and 4Runners have. So because of that, the value is as high as Hunter Biden chilling in his bathtub at his Malibu home, and everyone wants one so fucking bad that we're at the point where it's extremely hard to find! If you're lucky, you could find one for maybe at least $20k with at least 200,000 miles on it and still be running like it only has 20k on it. But other than that, you're better off buying a Sequoia with the same engine and transmission as the Land Cruiser does. Or maybe the fancy version which is the Lexus LX which are still hard to find as well. The Land Cruisers are reliable as fuck! They will be driven under lakes, flooded by hurricane Ian, and/or get drenched by lava....... AND STILL RUN LIKE IT'S BRAND FUCKING NEW!!!!!! No wonder people like me are crazy about these vehicles!
The Toyota Land Cruiser is so durable, it can go nascar racing in an EF-5 tornado!

The Toyota Land Cruiser is so durable, if a street light pole falls on the vehicle, the pole will bend by the top of that mutherfucker and still have no dings whatsoever!

The Toyota Land Cruiser is so durable, it can scare away any unusual fish by driving like a maniac underneath the Mariana trench, while hitting rocks and underwater mountains and still running like brand fucking new!

THAT'S HOW DEPENDABLE THE LAND CRUISER IS!!!!
by Shb99 February 6, 2023
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Toyota Land Cruiser

The DEFINITION of 4x4, and the automotive equivalent of a chameleon. In the Middle East, Southeast Asia, and much of Africa - show up in one of these, and everyone will know you're rich, potentially royalty and potentially bought it using blood money. In Europe? Nonexistent, unless you count the Prado. In the US? Either stealth wealth WASPs or overlanding bros who treat it like an expensive 4Runner. In Japan? A more niche product, and the canvas for some Midnight Club-level builds. In Australia? The undisputed King of the Outback, mate. Available as either a "station wagon" currently in the 300-series, or a no-nonsense 4x4/pickup in the form of the 70-series. One of Japan's most iconic vehicular exports and quite possibly one of the most reliable vehicles on planet earth. This thing will take you anywhere and will not leave you stranded. Many SUVs come close - the Nissan Patrol, Land Rover Range Rover, and Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen are all fantastic SUVs, but the Land Cruiser is in a league of its own. There's a reason why everyone from the UN to ISIS uses these bad boys. You can get one in complete barebones GX spec or fully loaded Sahara spec - making it the Japanese equivalent to an F-series or RAM truck (although much more reliable.) A strong contender for the most badass vehicle on earth.
The Toyota Land Cruiser is every Arab or Australian teen's dream first car.
by henry1272838442 February 22, 2025
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Toyota Landcruiser

fucking best car out there only time ull see one is pulling that pice of shit nissan outta the tiny mud puddle
"did you see that fucking minty Toyota Landcruiser over there"

"fucken oath wonder how many patrols get pulled out per day by it"
by bb_92_1hdt November 19, 2019
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Toyota Landcruiser

An overpriced and over rated 4WD vehicle that you rarely see outside of school runs and suburban shopping centers. Commonly bought by people that fall for the marketing hype rather than researching before a purchase. The utility versions still use a body shell that was designed when Jesus played fullback for Jerusalem. The poor ergonomics and harsh ride from the cart springs see the owners exchanging Christmas cards with their chiropractor and physiotherapist.

On the rare occasions they are used off-road, poor suspension travel and weak drivelines mean they are usually found stuck in the tracks made by the Patrols and Land Rovers, needing lengthy recovery sessions to get them back on the chicken tracks where they belong. The front diffs are made of licorice and there are a plethora of aftermarket components designed to make them stronger, which rarely work.

Visually recognizable from a distance due to the entire ARB catalogue being fitted with the biggest mud terrain tyres that can possibly be fitted, you are immediately aware the driver is compensating for a small penis. Yes, all the gear and no idea, typical cruiser driver.
My Toyota Landcruiser is bogged again.

My boyfriend and I are using the Toyota Landcruiser in the mardi gras again this year
by Ecovandal June 8, 2018
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