dumper tortoise

a dumper tortoise is a name for a real turd of a person
can be used all the time because no one knows it so it seems like a clever comeback

person a: Good Charlotte is awesome cockboy
person b: shut the fuck up dumper tortoise

by The Great El Sahey September 19, 2006

Retracting tortoise

A phrase used in response to somebody doing or saying something so unattractive, that the most mighty of erections would quickly shrivel to the size of an acorn. Very much like the head of a tortoise would retract within its shell.

"Dude, did you see Lucy eating that sausage and egg mcmuffin earlier?"
"Yeah man, she got mustard up her nose and proceeded to spoon it out and eat it, total retracting tortoise."

by Huuuuud April 22, 2012

tortoise shell

The result of cooling of the testis. The scrotum rises, shrinks and hardens, resembling a tortoise shell. Often goes hand in hand with shrinkage of the nob.

Steve, "The water is freezing today."
Morty, "Yeah man, I got a tortoise shell"

by Chris Avis March 27, 2008

Titties The Tortoise

A nickname for Ms. Hamster's pet. He always manages to escape his cage and climbs up trees, waiting to commit suicide by flipping upside down. When it's winter he goes brain dead until he somehow reincarnates himself when spring comes around.

I have got a pet here who loves sleeping.

It's a tortoise!
It's titties the tortoise!

by bryan's school account September 20, 2019

Trevor The Tortoise

A godlike being who is seen as a tortoise, he has complete control of everything and is immune to every attacks no matter what it does he can manipulate reality to his will and can destroy universes with ease. He is extremely lazy and has no care for anything but has an immense of IQ and fighting experience and can just step on you and you will die. Trevor is also an extremely large tortoise that has a thicc shell around him.

Trevor The Tortoise is a cool guy.

I wanna be like Trevor The Tortoise but I cannot because he is too godlike and overpowered.

by TestudoRex August 30, 2021

overturned tortoise

Having sex with an epileptic pitching a fit.

I did the overturned tortoise last night, arms and legs everywhere.

by Joshyyyy February 12, 2010

Overturned tortoise

Norfolk slang for a girl who is begging for sex, because she just can't get any action otherwise.

Person 1: You know that Dutch girl who moved to Norfolk? She's such an overturned tortoise!
Person 2: I know, right...

by Dragonfyre1 February 12, 2010