When Big Oil ass rapes an entire region then smears the toxic remains over several hundred miles creating a mustache or Dirty Valdez.
In 1989 Exxon gave Alaska The Dirty Valdez because a future governor would not abort her love child.
by pubesforpetrolem June 13, 2010
Get the The Dirty Valdez mug.
When an individual fills his/her mouth with cold beer, blows it in a woman's anal cavity while she is in a modified doggy style position and puts his/her thumb in the rectum. Then he/she proceeds to shake her violently**, after 5 to 8 seconds of shaking he/she will then pull his/her thumb from the rectal cavity in a violent pull back jerk motion. After he/she will then proceed to get a shower from the mist of the nectar of the gods.

** Gently if the woman exceeds the 55 year barrier.
Kim Smith got a hot Dirty Valdez from Jane last night...
by The Clipper May 29, 2008
Get the Dirty Valdez mug.
Placing your junk in someone's coffee to add flavor and/or texture to the drink.
Hey buddy, you look like you could use a little grundle butter in that coffee - let me give you a Dirty Juan Valdez.
by Glowsand December 14, 2010
Get the Dirty Juan Valdez mug.
When an individual wipes his ass with a cofee filter, brews a pot of fecal java and pours the brew over his woman as he slams the warhead into her. Inspired by the infamous Hot Carland Dirty Sanchez and similar to theGolden Shower.
Mr. Ken's girl was tired of getting Hot Carl'd so he surprized her on her birthday with a Dirty Juan Valdez!
by Dr. Switch October 24, 2004
Get the Dirty Juan Valdez mug.