If you find a Hagen RUN! because if you don't you'll find yourself thinking about him 24/7 to the point where people are asking you, "Why are you smiling? your Grandma just died." he also has a massive cock.
Hot anime girl: oh my GOD did you see Hagen's bulge?? I can't stop thinking about it.
guy named Hagen: uh...I'm Hagen.....
guy named Hagen: uh...I'm Hagen.....
by miss.doodlerdecker September 5, 2021
“Hagen” is derived from the word “Hag.” A “Hagen” is a member of substantial subset of the female population. They are middle aged, almost morbidly overweight, with short hair, dyed black or very dark brown. Members are strikingly similar in appearance. It’s only upon close examination that they can be differentiated. Hagens are often caregivers, such as nurses or teachers. A typical Hagen would be 5’4”, 240 lbs, and 54 years old.
Almost universally, they claim to “like themselves” in spite of obvious indications of low self-esteem.
Almost universally, they claim to “like themselves” in spite of obvious indications of low self-esteem.
by Dave-the-198 May 3, 2008
A Hagen seems like a really good looking guy with a nice body but once you get to know him he becomes obsessive and a really big dick
by KayLee Goold February 5, 2015
A black headed, green eyed, guy that lives in Elkin, NC, and works in Wilkesboro, NC. Set the ODAC catches per game (10.3) record at Guilford College. Questionably the coolest guy alive!
by Mallorie Vogler April 5, 2010
A legendary peacock from the mean streets of yorba linda, CA. His multitude of heinous and flamboyant tattoos, in addition to the various screamo bands he jumps in and out of make him quite an entertaining character in the Orange County underground. Rumored to have slept with over 1,200 women, there are few taboos that Hagen does not defy.
"Did you hear about Hagen the other night? He was arrested for sodomizing an underage vagrant hippie behind Sonic in Buena Park. Yeah, they busted him for having a mini-pharmacy taped to his crotch as well."
by DowntownPreacher February 13, 2008
by sier October 18, 2007