Peewee Wonka 

Peewee Wonka is some loser who saw Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory and thought "what if I did this myself?" which I can't even begin to wonder how he thought was a good idea at all. Seriously what the fuck goes in somebody's head for them to want to make a chocolate factory like Willy Wonka. Anyways he made the factory and it without a doubt violates so many health codes that it probably even violates some don't even exist yet, furthermore Peewee Wonka refuses to let government officials into the factory. This has also been a part of supporting the rumors that Peewee Wonka utilizes enforced child labor in order to produce his chocolate, which is even further supported by the fact consumers of his product have reported the taste of blood in the chocolate. A man simply named Gal stood in for Peewee Wonka as his PR to address the rumors in a press conference and was quoted saying that the process in which they produce their confectionary goods is completely automated, however, most news outlets warn readers not to trust this man as the reason he was standing in for Peewee Wonka could be that he is a new face and thus they think he could be more easily believed on the matter. If you ever get contacted by a supposed Peewee Wonka please report this interaction to your local police force immediately, thank you for your time, and never eat chocolate made my Peewee Wonka.

"Hey man, hear about that new chocolate factory? Run by some Pewee guy or whatever."

"You mean Peewee Wonka? I hear he uses children to make his chocolate, and that the chocolate has the taste of blood in it."

"Yikes, what type of guy would open up a factory like that?"

"Peewee Wonka apparently."

Peewee Wonka by Sunflower Man September 20, 2021