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nice t's 

a beautiful set of sweater kittens. you say it to girls but you don't want them to get all high and mighty so they don't blow you later so after saying "nice t's" you say "not you". sure it's cruel and gets there hopes up, but in the long run, it helps you in your quest to nail them in the seat.
nice t's by hammer November 9, 2006

That's why we can't have nice things 

It's a statement a mom or dad would make, while exasperated with their child for having broken some household item. For instance, a mother buys a new small appliance for her kitchen, let's say its a stand mixer. The kids start playing with it and jam something in the blades and burn out the motor. Mom walks in and sees the mess and yells, "See! That's why we can't have nice things!"

It's a comment that is actually an irrational thing to say, but it's funny for that reason. A very "mom/dad" thing they would say in the heat of the moment.
"See! That's why we can't have nice things! Dad just bought this VCR, and you kids put a sandwich in it! Now it's broken!"

if you can't say anything nice, say something shitty. 

When you are openly critical of someone's actions and are just being a dick.
James: Bob, you drive like a stoned flamingo.

Bob: at least you know if you can't say anything nice, say something shitty.

If you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say nothing at all 

This is usually something someone who is really annoying will say. They are usually called Nigel. If someone says this to you then you should throw a manky stick at them.
Me: “ Your so ugly, you manky Stick”
Nigel: “If you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say nothing at all