negotiation 

Agreement

Person 1:Let’s make an negotiation
Person 2: alright

negotiation by 🦈 March 4, 2021

Hostage Negotiation 

Having to use the bathroom in the absolute worst way, but either a) you're constipated or b) you have performance anxiety for whatever reason.

Dude, I was just in stall 3, and I had to do some major Hostage Negotiation in there... I was a little embarrassed, 'cause Lenny the VP was in the next stall. Although HE had no problem releasing the hostages.

Hostage Negotiation by AluMiNuM77 May 17, 2007

French Negotiation 

The act of unconditional surrender without confrontation and willfully providing whatever is desired to an aggressor.

Guy 1: So, you let that bully kick your dog, and sodomize your girlfriend, after which you gave him all the money in your wallet and wished him a pleasant weekend?

Guy 2: Yep

Guy 1: Wow, you've mastered the art of French Negotiation!

French Negotiation by Lelarep March 21, 2011

Boner Negotiation 

When you have a throbbing, pulsating boner but she is still talking about her mom, so you breathe deeply through your nose and fight off the ape within.

My unwillingness to make a move on Alyssa led to me having to perform Boner Negotiation on myself.

Boner Negotiation by TheFirmHandshake May 15, 2020

Faucet Negotiation

An attempt, when one is using an automatic touch-free faucet, to prevent the faucet from turning off before one is finished washing his or her hands.

I can't get that touch-free faucet to stay on. I tried all my Faucet Negotiation techniques: I moved my hands higher then lower; I moved my hands closer to the faucet then further; I hit the faucet. Nothing works. I still have some soap on my hands.

Faucet Negotiation by O-town daddy November 9, 2013

French Negotiation 

The act of unconditional surrender without confrontation and willfully providing whatever is desired to an aggressor.

Guy 1: So, you let that bully kick your dog, and sodomize your girlfriend, after which you gave him all the money in your wallet and wished him a pleasant weekend?

Guy 2: Yep

Guy 1: Wow, you've mastered the art of French Negotiation!

French Negotiation by Neret March 22, 2011

Canadian Negotiation 

The act of getting ripped off in a deal because the person on your side is actively working against you.

We put our elbows up and voted him in, but all we got was got bent over. Carney is a master of Canadian negotiations with Trump.

Canadian Negotiation by TiredabdDismayedCanuck July 31, 2025