The Jonas Brothers are a Christian Rock band from Wyckoff, New Jersey.

They started their careers when the youngest Jonas, Nicholas, who is currently 14, got signed to a recording contract with INO/Columbia Records.

Soon after, the record label heard a song that Nicholas had written with his brothers, Joseph and Kevin. The record label soon signed them as a brother group.

The rest it history.
Hey! The Jonas Brothers are playing Jersey tonight!
by Popfan December 08, 2006
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a talentless "band" consisting of three rediculously ugly, borderline homerotic brothers named paul, joe, and nick, who make millions a year by selling sex to preteen girls.

-Their fanbase consists of approximately 70 trillion 10-13 year-old girls who's parents won't let them listen to "explicit" songs and so have no idea what real music sounds like.

-In every song they say the word 'baby' about 50 times.

the only reason they haven't been arrested for being rampant pedophiles is because they wear "Purity rings" and say that they can't have sex until they're married. Thus, they are allowed to rape the ears
of trillions of 12-year-olds.
Jonas Brothers: Oh baybay, we want to stalk you and watch you through your window. Check out our awesome purity rings.

brainwashed preteen: Oh Joe, i want to have your babies!

joe bros: come into our trailer and let us have ear sex with you.

brainwashed preteen: Oh god, yes! Anything!
by beefjerky54621 March 26, 2009
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A bunch of donkey ass-raping cock munchers and faggots. Their fanbase consists of rabid cock-wielders a.k.a. little immature girls who don't know what music is or what rock is. These butt-pirate fag machines frequently give each other anal backstage. If you have a f*cking brain, you don't like these bag-slapping, disney raping, shit-sucking, cum drinking, homos. F*ck! People, do you know what music is anymore?!?!?!?! These f*cking chastity loving queers are sucking some major cock and yet many do not seem to notice.
Anything Disney is already an epic fail and is scarred for life.

These queers don't play anything in the "rock" genre and yet their fans think they do.

The typical Jonas Brothers fan has a massive shit-covered dick up their ass.
by UrDadsDad December 12, 2008
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Retard-ginger-ass-lickers who think horny little girls like their music. But on the contrary these young girls want to feel the Jonas Brothers tiny tight little nothings. Their music sucks, they think that while they are playing live they can play a solo while holding down a power chord on the guitar for a minute and a half. Anybody that knows music and cares about the music not just the goddamned looks will all agree that their music is a huge pile of babies raped and devoured by a giant four foot wide vagina with razor sharp teeth. Anyone that considers this music should be raped, and at that whoever thinks this is "rock" should be killed by a brutal death. Goddammit Metallica is rock, Led Zeppelin is rock, Queen is rock, The Who is rock, but for all that is holy do not EVER consider The Jonas Bothers (yes i made that typo for a reason) music or else I will haunt your dreams.

Any girl that calls us jealous, take a look in our pants and see the difference, also who THE FUCK would want to be in a god awful band with the most shittiest songs?

Forgot to mention that their fan base consists of girls that want to fit in si they "adore" the jonas brothers and gay guys.

Led Zeppelin ROCKS!
Girl/gay guy:I Love the Jonas Brothers!
Us: Bitch please, shut up before I rip your pussy and/or penis out so you have no more hope of entering in sexual intercourse with the Jonas Brothers

Girl/gay guy:I Love the Jonas Brothers!
Us: Shut up before we are forced to rip your ears off cause you obviously cant distinguish music.
by Franoit April 08, 2009
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A fruity 3 "man" band who "sing" about friendship and such. 99% of the girl teen population has a weird obsession over them. Every girl who is in love with them has an I.Q. lower than a fish.

The Jonas brothers all claim to be straight, but their so far in the closet that "they are having adventures in Narnia." They try to hide the fact that they have vaginas by stuffing them with paper during photo shoots.

Smart person-"stfu please?"
by Zipitty September 06, 2009
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One of the worst bands in history that is suddenly the greatest band of all time. If people want to find out what good music is, go listen to "Ride the Lightning" (Metallica), "The Gallery" (Dark Tranquility), "Ascendancy" (Trivium), any Megadeth, Slayer, or In Flames album.
#1: Boy, that horrible pop rock band Jonas Brothers sucks.
#2: Yep. Hey, did you get that new Amon Amarth or Trivium album yet? Now that's real music!!
by Unknown3456 January 07, 2009
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3 talentless pricks who sing shitty pop songs which 6-17 year old females(and some males) tend to like
boy: OMG SO DO I!!!!!!!
person who likes good music:you guys are retarded listening to them! You dont know good music!!!!
boy and girl:ZOMG SHUT UP! *runs away crying*
by talksomeshit October 09, 2009
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Another sad band from Disney Channel. Many pre-teens are in love with them, because they for some awful reason think they're "hot". Many teens as well, but mostly just the girls who are lonely and desperate.. And kinda fat.
Random pre-teen: *Squeak!* "JB! Jonas Brothers! Ohmagawd, their coming to Flori-duh!"
by French Fried Potato August 07, 2010
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