The most manly dude in the fucking universe, when he gets
drunk he doesn't just get
drunk, not a little tipsy. Not
drunk to the state of rudeness. He wipes a week out of his memory. Out-drinks everyone around him, makes an arse of himself, forgets where he lives, pees against a wall, sits on a bench for a little while, remembers where he lives, passes out in
bed fully clothed and then gets the fuck back out there the next day and does it all again. Then spends a week of his life recovering from that day.
That
guy who got
shot by an barrette .50 Cal sniper 17 times then got
hit by a buss and walked it off, fought mike Tyson and chuck Liddell with
one foot. He can use the following reply in any situation "I'm staff Sgt. Max Fightmaster fucking deal with it"
He shaves his pubic hair with a fucking lawnmower, and his beard is so big homeless
people hide there in the winter. fuck satnav he reads real maps.
He is still alive to this very day, there is a real guy with this name, were not allowed to reveal details but you should be fully aware that he is doing something truly fucking awesome...
dude: Staff Sgt. Max Fightmaster
other
dude: did you say steroids?
dude 2: so how did Sgt. Max Fightmaster play rugby?
other
dude 2: He abandoned all pretences and entered the pitch fully naked covered in lubricant dancing violently to powerful techno
dude 3:holy shit is that Sgt. Max Fightmaster
other dude 3: Yeah you can tell because he smells of marmite and sweat and heavy death metal,
he never ate a vegetable in his life because he says vegetable's make you weak and retarded and steroids and vodka are the shit.
