by barbaroso May 4, 2004
A pagan holiday that "christians" have tried make a christian holiday. Easter originated in ancient Rome before Christ was born. Here is where it came from: Nimrod (who tried to bild the tower of Babel) was killed and was thought to be a god by some people. His wife was a whore and when she became pregnant, she claimed the conception was immaculate. The group of people who believed her lie claimed that Nimrod himself impregnated her from heaven. The child that was born was named Tamuz (which is where worship of the cross originated). When Tamuz's mother died, the same group of people that believed he was the savior claimed that she became the godess named easter. They believed that she once returned to earth in an egg (easter eggs). A cult took this myth and turned it into a religion. On easter, pagan priests would impregnate young virgins on the alter (that was meant to worship nimrod). A year later, the babies that were born as a result were slaughtered on easter day and eggs were dipped in their blood (where egg painting originated). Easter does not honor Christ in any way and is not one of God's annual festivals.
by Nick0889 February 15, 2006
When your parents take all the leftover Halloween candy and hide it around the house in colorful eggs. When you cant find any, you give up until next year, when you find all the old ones and none of the new ones. Little people believe that a magical rabbit delivers these too you.
Child: Last night, on Easter, my parents told me a magical bunny broke into our house and left a bunch of eggs for me to find. I didn't find a damn thing!
Next year: It happened again! But that furry bastard gave me a bunch of stale ass candy!
Next year: It happened again! But that furry bastard gave me a bunch of stale ass candy!
by DC334 November 25, 2009
The celebration in which juvenile primates hunt for the colored shells of unborn dinosaur young planted by a small, furry woodland creature all in commemoration of a middle ages cult belief that 2000 years ago a zombie walked the earth.
by Codeedog April 4, 2010
by Dubiks December 25, 2018
A way to get time of school and gain a few fucking kilos to drop off again when school comes back so you can keep your girlfriend.
Easter makes you fat and self-aware.
by 50€ March 27, 2016