An utterly insignifigant little blue-green planet orbiting at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles away from a small unregarded yellow sun far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy.
It's ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.
Get a job as a cab driver immediatley. A cabdriver's job is to drive poeple anywhere they want to go in big yellow machines called taxis. Don't worry if you don't know how the machine works and you can't speak the language, don't understand the geography or indeed the basic physics of the area, and have large green antennae growing out of your head. Believe me, this is the best way to stay inconspicuous.
by Jonah Rowley January 09, 2005
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The computer designed by Deep Thought to calculate The Question.
Read the Hitchhiker's Guide to hte Galaxy for more information.
by Gravyman3321 September 04, 2004
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Sometimes called by it's Latin name, 'Terra', The Earth is a super computer designed by Deep Thought, another super computer, and payed for by two pandiminsional beings Loonquawl and Phouchg. This computer was so advanced that others began calling it a 'planet', and soon life itself sprang from it's main matrices. The 'humans', 'Earthlings', etc. that were brought forth were socially adaptible, and had the amazing ability to learn from other's mistakes (and strangely enough, an apparent disinclination to do so). The 'planet' itself was mostly harmless, untill it was demolished to make way for an intergalactic bipass by Vogons (a nastly lot, them), leading to the production of Earth Mk. II, which is where we live today.
Imagine there's no such thing as a cheeseburger.
Now, imagine there's no more McDonald's.
Now, the USD is gone.
Now imagine there's no New York Times.
Good. Now, there's no New York.
Now, there's no East Coast. No West Coast.
Now, and this is the big one, imagine there's no Chuck Norris.
If you could (somehow) follow that last instruction, then the Earth being gone's easy to grasp, no?
by TabGuy January 02, 2011
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Big blue planet in the Milky Way. "Humans" live on this planet, and their behavior is contradictive to itself. Humans scream about cutting down rainforest, something which supplies Oxygen to the planet and keeps a protective barrier called the O-Zone alive around the earth, but inhale smoke from a burning tobbacco plant into their lungs, which also destroys the O-zone. Many of their seperated religious beliefs state that "Murder" is forbidden, but they kill millions of "Non-Believers" everyday. They are rude to one another for no reason. They hate law and authority, expecially while again endangering their lives and everyone around them lives while driving vehicles to fast, but beggs for law enforment when someone steals from them.
They also imagine that they are the rulers of all imagination and space. Aliens, which is a debated topic on the planet, is something they think they can handle, when they can't even obey or respect laws sat down by man themself.
"Humans" are a strang breed of creatures, and that's why all other lifeforms in the galaxy hide their exsistance from them.
"Stay away from earth Kremlar. Those 'Humans' are crazy."
"You're probably right Trylak."
by Trevor Anderson January 21, 2005
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A place where a bunch of pseudointellectual douchebags like to post on urbandictionary about how Earth is supposedly filled with idiots who are dooming the planet.

Guess what assholes, you're not smart. And you're all a bunch of fucking hypocrytes. You're using electrcity, medicines tested on animals, and I'm fairly confident alot of you bleeding heart assholes drive an SUV. If not, you're still driving some automobile.

Please die.
"I don't eat meat becuase it's so cruel how they treat animals. Hey, did you see my new leather boots? They're great. I can't believe how we're destroying the earth, people just arn't smart, they're such a plague on the land. Uh-oh, im running low on gas, lemme pull in here real quick. It will also give me the oppurtunity to use makeup products tested on animals. Oh hey, i just realized it... I'm not an intellectual, i'm just a douchebag"
by herb311 April 30, 2005
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verb - To Earth someone is to knock them out, usually in one punch. Used in hip hop slang for hitting someone so hard you drop them to the ground, or "earth".
This kid started spittin some bullshit at me and my boy, so i squared up and earthed that nigga son.
by Jacob P. Galvitron January 05, 2009
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The real hell. According to sacred Gnostic texts, has been and will be the darkest planet in the entire universe with more than 70% of it's inhabitants being ether dark or gray spirited. All life will end in 2100.
Be proud of youself for coming to this hellhole called Earth.
by *Dee* April 30, 2006
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