The most badass, hardcore, motherfucking squirrel you'll ever know. He drinks. He urinates. He vomits. He's everything you'd ever want in a mammal.
My name is Conker. Insert movie parody here.
by Paul Newman February 8, 2004
A British term for the fruit/seed of a horse chestnut tree. Commonly called a chestnut.

Can also refer to the game called 'conkers' played using the chestnuts in which two opponents attempt to shatter the other's conker. The conkers are both suspended on a length of string and the players take turns to swing at the other's. The player with the conker last remaining on its string is the winner.
Young Boy 1: "Ouch man, you hit my finger!"
Young Boy 2: "Well that's the inherent risk of playing conkers my friend. You know what you signed up for!"
by ph4sma September 14, 2011
The worlds most annoying and hateable Japanglish speaking Wapanese Furry known to the internet. First appearing on YouTube, Conker migrated over to a popular roleplaying MSN group and mysteriously wormed his way to assistant manager. Known for his bad grammar, horrible spelling, and abusing his AM powers, he is incapable of doing anything right and whines and bitches anytime someone points out his mistakes or retard behavior. His horrible roleplay skills are limited to only submissive roles, and despite his enjoyment in roleplaying Yaoi, he denies being gay or bi.
Conker : I dont have any wights tv is to riske sicne my mom will hit it with a hammer if she sees me on it....and dude the loses thign to creative wrigeing is rping for me
Conker : Well I odnt see the sun out so its dark-ish....
Conker : dont*
Yumi : wow, even in real life you sound pathetic
MarzKnight : Well i find that exercising without weights is good, and so is just writing a small story.
Conker : Yumi fuck off i just live in a bad area
Conker : I just build stuff in my spare time
Yumi : then go do that and stop bugging us
Conker : Like the shelfs aroud nthe hosue the bookshel my computer table and so on and ect ect.
Conker : Yumi......leave me alone allready
Yumi : iunno, its fun pissing you off
Conker : Marz the neerest thig nto writeing a story is rping for me......
Yumi : ha
Conker : Yumi your not pissing me off......You are just acting like a baka...
Yumi : ugh!
MarzKnight : ^^ then you must not do very good RP's because thats all an RP is made up of, a two person story.
Conker : besdies i rather rp sicne i can think up of mroe thigns with somethig nesle....its fun and betetr thne writeing alone....
Yumi : dont use japanese words in an english sentence, its like glass on a chalkboard
by Cecona August 1, 2008
slang for "mouth".
A: My eyes are bigger than my mouth
B: Shut up and shove it in your conker.
by Edmund, King of Narnia March 30, 2010
Another word for godmoding moron, has a tendency to mistype. .
* Ninj fires, sending a bolt slamming into Conker's CPU, sending him crashing to virtual death.

<KP_Conker> Pfft. A mere repairable wund.

* KP_Conker instntly trnsmits his persnality to anther waitng cyborg.
by Ninj January 4, 2005
a game played in British schools.
Horse chestnuts hung on a shoe lace, both kids take turns to hit each others conkers until they smash.
Sounds a pile of shit but it was good at the time.
I've got a ten time winning conker
by xxx April 23, 2003
The act of slapping a used tampon on someones face... swinging it like a conker fight.
Ali has just come on and took Chris by surprise by conkering him with her tampon.
by Conkered November 3, 2017