Boneitis

A funny name for a horrible disease. That Guy’s only regret was not to find a cure for it.

“My only regret is that I have Boneitis!”

by Lugs-o October 18, 2004

boneitis

A horrible disease that afflicts the human skeleton. This disease comes in three distinct forms. Type "A", being the second most-common variant affects the order in which the symptoms present themselves. Type "A" is known as the "top-down" variant, meaning that it starts at the head and works its way down to the feet. Type "B", being the third most common, is known as "bottom-up", meaning that it starts at the feet and works its way up to the top of the skull. Type "C", being the most common, is known as the "OH JESUS" form as this variant displays the symptoms of boneitis all at once. Boneitis itself is a disease of the human skeleton that causes individual bones to explode. Each bone has a distinct eruption:
-Femurs tend to explode through the front of the thigh.
-Tibias tend the explode out of the sides.
-The tricep/bicep area and the shoulder erupt at a perpendicular to the center of the body at a frontal orientation.
-The digits, both hand and feet, erupt in a fashion known as the "firecracker" effect.
-The ribcage breaks apart at the sternum, swinging open, and exposing the internal organs.
-The individual ribs themselves explode into small bits of bone shrapnel (CAUTION: When witnessing Boneitis, please seek shelter as shrapnel may harm you)
-The mandible splits in the center swinging out similarly to the ribcage, then the arms of the mandible likewise explode with particular ferocity.
-The skull implodes.
The only bone which remains intact is the pelvis, although in perfect condition (if those afflicted are in nominal health), bursts into flame.

Boneitis can be transmitted in the air, through water, blood, semen, vaginal fluid, rectal fluid, phlegm, hair follicles, skin, fecal matter, and through digestive fluid including salivary fluid.

He caught boneitis, and before my eyes his bones came out of him, and then their splinters chased me as his bones proceeded to explode.

by The Major & Sacha March 16, 2005

Boneritis

A severe case of the boners.

Harley was ashamed to stand up in front of the audience due to his advanced boneritis.

by Ninjasurfer July 21, 2007

Bonitis

A disease in which the muscles contract and bones twist in every which way. This disease is exemplified clearly in the cartoon show Futurama in the episode name "The 80's Guy".

I couldn't find the video as an example, but I will quote the guy.

80's guy- "Fry, I'm an 80's guy. Friendship to me means that for 2 bucks I'll beat you with a pool cue till you got detached retinas. The deal will go ahead as ~CRACK~ ~CRACKLE~ UGH!!!! CRUNCH CRACK (and so on). MY BONES! (everyone gasps)"

Fry- "OMG, HIS BONITIS!"

80's guy- "I was so busy being an 80's guy that I forgot to cure it. CRRRRACKLE! My only regret..... is that I have... bonitis. (final crackling to death dies)"

by KageNoShibou January 9, 2008

bongitis

to smoke weed so often that you may as well be diagnosed with an actual condition.

ted: hey doof, how did finals go?
doof: not sure man, i caught bongitis and haven't put down morrowind: elder scrolls in 23 days now.

by tedd January 2, 2008

Sand Boneritis

When ever you see, smell, touch or even hear sand you automatically get a raging boner.

Damn the other day I looked across the lake and saw a massive pile of sand that gave me a raging boner it must have been a really bad case if sand boneritis.

by Anal_Titty_Liquer August 10, 2018

boneritis

A disease that causes boners very often, especially in public places. The boners often last for half an hour and come back repeatedly.

I had a boneritis attack right when I had to give a presentation in front of my class.

by dk? May 28, 2005