An alternative for bitch. Birch is commonly used to bypass internet filters. It is also used to call someone a bitch without the associated negative connotations; a more light-hearted approach.
"Well don't get mad at me, birch! You could have answered your own question if you searched first."

"My girl has been birching at me since she got home. I don't know what the deal is, but the birch needs to settle down."
by Jack Krabitz January 2, 2007
Get the birch mug.
The act of stalking a person's various saved documentation (such as social media, film reels, leaked recording in private settings etc.) in a quest to find something offensive and frivolous they may have said at any point in the past, regardless of what age or personal growth said person may have gone through since the time of. Disproportionately utilized against people who have made some kind of name for themselves in some way, shape or form since no one cares if Joe Nobody ever said something dumb.
Man 1: Josh Allen said the n-word on twitter back in 2012 when he a junior in high school! What a totally racist asshole!

Man 2: Dude, EVERYONE has said stupid shit at some point in their life, ESPECIALLY high schoolers! I'm not going to chastise someone for something obviously nonsensical they said as a dumb kid, where the only difference is that he was unfortunate enough to say it in a place that saves everything as opposed to normal face to face conversation. Especially when it's totally a coincidence it only came out after he became famous. Quit birching and get a real fucking hobby.

Sean Schemmel: Vic Mignogna's a homophobic piece of shit!
Dragonball fans: Hey Sean care to say anything about that leaked audio of you saying a homophobic slur while doing Goku's voice like 10 times in 9 seconds?
Sean Schemmel's: Hey that's not fair, this stuff is only valid when I'M not the one getting birched!!!
by Assey McGee August 29, 2019
Get the Birching mug.
An application of birch twigs to the bare posterior of a miscreant of misbehaving person. The goal of this is to provide an attitude correction. In past years the process was used by husbands to correct their wives, giving rise to old English "rule of thumb" that is you were not legally allowed to birch your wife with a stick that is larger in diameter than your thumb. Sort of counter productive anyway because the best birch branches to use are about 1/4" in diameter and freshly cut so as to be flexible and whippy. The process of birching often requires the woman to prepare her own birch.

In the case of submissive women receiving a birching often gives rise to strong sexual desires and a feeling of contentment and calm.
Elly, I see you have exceeded the budget for your credit card this month. Go cut a switch for yourself and prepare yourself for a birching.
by canem September 4, 2009
Get the birching mug.
A term used when you want to get really coked out of your head
I am gonna get birched tonight. You're getting birched, we are ALL getting birched.
by Jaxaltol June 10, 2020
Get the Birched mug.
the practice of chewing twigs; predating Islamic culture, chewing twigs was the only source for oral hygiene. This trend has died with the evolution of toothbrushes and toothpaste, but recent scientific research still regards chewing twigs at the same orally hygienic standard as the toothbrush.
"what are you . . . chewing on a stick?"
"No, I'm birching."
by Richard Seguritan April 1, 2007
Get the birching mug.
(n) plural: -es / a set of people that are not bound by the limitations alcoholism/addiction/sanity
"Girl, you my birch"

"Ain't gonna' cut down this birch tree"

by v0mitt January 28, 2014
Get the birch mug.
That skank ass birch won't give me my mother fuckin money.
by Domizan July 20, 2006
Get the birch mug.