A merchant, tourist/summer home, wealthy/poverished, post-colonial, pre-Laser Beam Modernism town in southern Suffolk County (Long Island, New York).

Quick Stats:

Average Income: $75,957.32 (Loews Standardized Survey '04).
Average IQ: 97 (Loews '04; Stanford-Binet V)
Average Idiot Code Enforcement Officer (per-acre): 3 (Loews '05)
Average MILF (per-acre): 5.78 (Loews '05)

Number of Weird Drug Addicts: 67 (Loews '04)
Number of Failing Businesses: Kitchen and Coffee (Loews '04)
Number of High School Kids Doing Stupid Things on Corners (daily): 11 (Loews '04)
Number of Rich Families Paying Ridiculous Amts. of Money for You To Babysit Their Sons/Daughters While They Are Home: 61 (Loews '04)
Number of Toolbags at the Golf Course/Sailing on the Bay/Hitting on Chicks at the Beach: 89 (Loews '04; New Record as of May '04)

Cash Crop: Pot (see marijuana, reefer, smoke, mary jane, hash, green, dynamo jackson, professor duncan's smooth/victorious spinach, magical thing, trees, thing kids at Bellport put into bongs and smoke a lot)

Bellport was established in 1842 by French/Dutch Settlers. What started off as a good idea soon became home to Isabella Rosellini and her black garments that she wraps herself in (like a mummy) so that no sunlight will touch her regal body, a summer home for Madonna (cancelled, May '03), a stomping grounds for bands such as The Beatless, Alopecia, The Pillow Biters, SGT (summer '02), and excessive banter.

The hot spot in Bellport is most likely the four corners. This is where people gather to pace around, choose whether they want to go to the deli, pizza place, or grocery store, smoke cigarettes, talk about things, skateboard, cavort with cohorts and acquaintances, talk about the failing business Kitchen and Coffee, gossip about rich people (see: old WASPs), and play backgammon.

Current Scenes in Order of Populus (Loews '05):

The Ashlee Simpson Scene
Italian Metrosexual
Greek Metrosexual
The Weight-Lift Scene
Suped Car/Tinted Window
Ex-Bellport High School Football Player
Ex-High School Graduate
Hot Girls visiting from France for the Summer

Bellport has a bay area where there are boat slips and docks and a playground with a wooden pirate ship stuck in the sand.

Bellport has a ferry and hot girls from France.

Bellport is a sister city of St. Maxime. (What?)
I like to Bellport.

She Bellport's like Ashlee Simpson.

Dude, what the Bellport were you thinking?

Bellport is more to sail.

Bellport is where I kissed Sally on the big wooden boat on that playground.

Bellport and St. Maxime were conceived by the same Mother City.

In Bellport, we take running.
by Jilly Boel November 17, 2005
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ugly gay ass place in long island. it’s a bunch of shitty mfers over there. they can smd 😫. patchogue is better <3
bellport shitty as hell
by January 9, 2021
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city on long island, new york famous for shootings and mad weed. if u want a joint just go to the nearest house and they hook u up cheap. 900% of north bellport is balck people which is why they get shot so much. also poor people. but spicys is really good so if u want friend chicken nd koolaid just go to north bellport. whites are not allowed.
>hi do u want to commit suicide?
>yea, lets go to north bellport and call some niggas fags and see what happens
by gonnadienow December 21, 2010
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A shitty ass school in a mad broke town the best teacher there definitely mr bux and ms Smith can go shove a flamingo up her ass and ms roach head like judge Judy
Bellport High School sucks complete ass cheeks can’t even go on field trips
by Penisowner18394 November 21, 2018
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Bellport Middle School . It’s a gay ass school in Long Island that poisons kids with the toxic school lunch food . It sucks . Also ,, this is a historical school where protesters stand outside naked . But honestlyyy .. the fight are lowkey fire ... but I mean yeah it sucks . Plus ,, all the kids can smd with their irrelevant asses . Don’t be surprised if you walk in and you see a bunch of high kids walking around the hallways . And in this school , you can find drug dealers in the bathroom ! Yay !
by You mother July 25, 2019
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A school where people like Mr. Mac should just stop blowing fucking whistles into microphones to get us to shut the hell up bc NEWS FLASH it doesnt fucking work bitches! also, do you want to die? well say no more! bc this school has the best menu to choose your very last fucking bowl of crap. Hooray!!!! on the other hand, if u want to eat uncooked cookies in home ed, you can! you have no other choice but to eat them and puke ur fucking guts out! and this is a special message to Ms. Garcia..... FUCKING QUIT NO ONE WANTS U AS A TEACHER OK?! GOODBYE!
student: how come i can't go to D.C.?
by dino plant November 3, 2019
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bellport middle school is where all the 7th graders are treeshes and suck mad dick , but some of the 8th graders are sexy asf ( javi , cj , jesse , and a lot of other guys ) but besides that everyone smokes nic and weed :)
bellport middle school
by šhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh November 25, 2019
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