Douche Puffette

A grotesquely overweight narcissistic amazon woman who believes the world revolves around her, her bad credit, and her inability to control her intake of alcohol. Often reads by flashlight while explaining how your problems relate to her life.

After listening to that douche puffette talk about sobriety I'm totally ready to slam fireball and suck the glass dick.

by OG Bobby Hill November 23, 2019

Dick-douche

A conceited asshole.

My dick-douche baby daddy couldn't buy diapers but he could bail his homie out of jail with $2000.

by 20blitz00 May 20, 2016

douche wagon

Very similar to a butt wagon, though a bit more oriented toward people who deserve a heavier term than butt wagon. A douche wagon can also safely be called a buttsnoipe, an asshaberdasher, a bunghole, etc.

{Seen on a drone flight video posted on YouTube:

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your bµñg#Ø£€ to your ṕ€n¡s ♪
♪ Some douche wagon neutralised my socks!!! ♪
{~850ms delay}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪

by Telephony January 8, 2021

Douche Crown

This is the very technical term for that trendy boy haircut where you shave the sides and have a curly mop on top. Scroll down the Snapchat discover page for 5 seconds, and you’ll see it. And if you’re not a sheeple, you’ll cringe. If you are trying to complete the look of an asshat, be sure to add some diamond stud earrings to go with your douche crown. If you have this haircut, according to my calculations there is a 89.333% you’re an asshole, or a high school bully that thinks they’re hot shit, and you might gain the side effect of a titanic ego. (URBAN DICTIONARY PEOPLE- please let this be a definition. This is not hate speech, but instead a sign so that the people I’m talking about can read this definition and be ashamed of themselves which might just bring them to be themselves a bit more and be a jerk a bit less.) CFH

“Douche Crown” (doo-shh crown)

“A haircut reserved for assholes.”

by Gunther magnusen February 22, 2021

Douche nozzle

Douche Nozzle
1. A guy who acts and looks like a jackass. Total Misogynist. Someone who
treats woman poorly. Thinks he's much smarter than he is and talks down
to others. The ultimate douche bag.
2. Douche Canoe, Jackmo, Kirk, Hoffman, Dickmo

Wow! Our office manager, Kirk, is such a douche nozzle. He treats everyone
terribly . Short man's complex all the way. A complete ass.

by Bendy1 April 2, 2021

Douche-baggage

Noun
The children, psycho baby mamas, ex-girlfriends, criminal records or other problems that come with dating a douche bag.

"it didn't work out with Ronnie, he had two kids With two different women, that's way too much douche-baggage to deal with."

by Not so shorty August 25, 2012

Phone-douche

Person who talks loudly on phone around a captive audience (i.e. In an elevator, a train, dorm room, or other group setting) and says ignorant, obnoxious, or simply TMI kinds of things.

In a dorm, late at night:
Your room-mate on the phone: "Don't worry dude, you didn't know you had (horrendous STD) before you started dating her, if she breaks up with you over that, she's just not the one."

You text your friend: "My room-mate is a total Phone-douche!"
All the while you cover your ears under your blanket imagining smashing his phone/asking God what you did to deserve this.

by sprstix409 January 28, 2012