Schrödinger’s Parent

a parent who abuses a child verbally and physically, but proceeds to claim that it’s because they love them/it’s for their own good

“have you heard about John Lennon’s parenting life?”
“he must be a Schrödinger’s Parent”

by sitemanlol May 18, 2023

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Cumnor House Parents

Someone who usually goes drinking at The Griffin inn or, if you're having a quiet one, The coach and horses. One whose anatomy is made up of 80% wine, 10% tory and the last 10% is either more alcohol or fags depending on how many years of school fees they have left to pay.

person 1: maybe we should open one more bottle?

person 2: yehhhhh why not, let's not turn into Cumnor House parents though, we've already got through 5.

by peanutswithpasta February 5, 2022

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Sebastian's Parents

Those types of parents that won't let you get a day off of school. Even though you would have a soar throat, feeling dizzy, or feeling like you're about to throw up. You still won't get a day off of school.

"Yo man, I'm not feeling well today, but you know I have Sebastian's Parents, so i have to stay here."
"Feelsbadman"

by Sebek01b October 23, 2017

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Parental Notification

TFW all of a sudden you experience an increase in red dots across all your socials and you mistake your newfound popularity for the feigned interest of The Rents.

The Rents take an artificial and outsized interest in your mundane posts this time of year because they want you to cancel that cruise and catch two connections so you can have dry turkey and iced tea on the couch like God intended, in memory of the Fifth Commandment (the one about mum and dad).

Bro, why are you on your phone so much right now?

Bro, my socials are blowing up. So many dots.

What did you post?

A picture of my sandwich.

Let me see.

Oh, Bro. Thanksgiving is next week. This is a parental notification.

by anonymous November 15, 2023

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