A scotch egg.
by Therealdiz March 26, 2022
Get the fat man's apple mug.The term used to describe an individual or group of individuals who display a certain degree of insanity by making up excuses that are implausible to the extreme in a feeble attempt to deny responsibility for their mistakes.
Boss: "What time do you call this, your 6 hours late."
Employee: "I'm really sorry I'm late sir I was err.. abducted by aliens, on my way way in. They returned me to earth in the middle of a field and the nearest train station was twenty miles away. I definitely didn't spend last night clubbing and get up 6 hours late."
Boss: "Who do you think you are kidding? You must be one bite short of an apple if you think there's any hope of me believing that!"
or
Fictitious mobile phone manufacturer: "Our phones appear to have poor reception when held because our stupid customers are hold them the wrong way. The 'signal strength formula' feels intimidated by humans and gets it's maths wrong whenever it is in the centre of a fist. This makes the poor innocent little formula accidentally display the wrong number of bars. The call quality appearing to drop is purely coincidental, as is us releasing an insulation cover and recruiting eight new antenna engineers. There is definitely no design floor. Even if there was, it is definitely nothing to do with the very sensitive revolutionary external uninsulated antenna. The antenna is just being ridiculed for being pure genius, by people without any imagination. All you have to do is imagine it works perfectly and you won't find a single fault. This worked just fine for us during testing."
Anyone with at least half a braincell: "They really must be one bite short of an apple if they think anyone is going to believe any of that!"
Employee: "I'm really sorry I'm late sir I was err.. abducted by aliens, on my way way in. They returned me to earth in the middle of a field and the nearest train station was twenty miles away. I definitely didn't spend last night clubbing and get up 6 hours late."
Boss: "Who do you think you are kidding? You must be one bite short of an apple if you think there's any hope of me believing that!"
or
Fictitious mobile phone manufacturer: "Our phones appear to have poor reception when held because our stupid customers are hold them the wrong way. The 'signal strength formula' feels intimidated by humans and gets it's maths wrong whenever it is in the centre of a fist. This makes the poor innocent little formula accidentally display the wrong number of bars. The call quality appearing to drop is purely coincidental, as is us releasing an insulation cover and recruiting eight new antenna engineers. There is definitely no design floor. Even if there was, it is definitely nothing to do with the very sensitive revolutionary external uninsulated antenna. The antenna is just being ridiculed for being pure genius, by people without any imagination. All you have to do is imagine it works perfectly and you won't find a single fault. This worked just fine for us during testing."
Anyone with at least half a braincell: "They really must be one bite short of an apple if they think anyone is going to believe any of that!"
by iCantMakeCalls July 7, 2010
Get the one bite short of an apple mug.Related Words
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Apple cider dick is the culmination of all things holy. It occurs when an extremely intoxicated person has a stinger (aka a raging hard-on, and they cannot drop the kids off. In other words, the poor individual is unable to blow their load and continues to rub to complete chaffage. Its a double edged sword; it feels great for a while, until it hurts (extreme ball hurt).
Example: I was trying to bust on this bitch's face, but i had apple cider dick and it cock-blocked me real hard.
Example: I was so drunk, that when i attempted to rub-off with my rabbit fur, i went two for tango with my balls for about 3 hours; fuck apple cider dick.
Example: A anonymous person's life
Example: I was so drunk, that when i attempted to rub-off with my rabbit fur, i went two for tango with my balls for about 3 hours; fuck apple cider dick.
Example: A anonymous person's life
by MSpicer February 22, 2007
Get the Apple Cider Dick mug.by Sway June 8, 2004
Get the bonita applebum mug.When a Grandma and or "Gilf" in your Neighborhood goes down on 3 or more neighbors within a one block radius. She would be "Eating good in the Neighborhood".
Three of my neighbors are "Taking Grandma to Applebees". She sure is "eating good in the neighborhood".
by lvjb November 11, 2010
Get the Taking Grandma to Applebees mug.You know you have the Apple Shits when you've eaten a lot of apples, around 2-3 a day, and every five minutes you have to shit, but its not the runs. Doesn't apply to everyone though.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away becuase I have the Apple Shits and I can't drive to the doctor without soiling my pants.
by Cerpin Taxxt October 27, 2006
Get the Apple Shits mug."Yo, You see that girl over there wit tha Apple Bottom."
"Hell yea, tht butt sho is ripe dawg, Im finned to go ova there and do sum APPLE JACKIN."
"Hell yea, tht butt sho is ripe dawg, Im finned to go ova there and do sum APPLE JACKIN."
by Mr. Apple Jack March 5, 2008
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