bagel rash

A red area at the tip of Bagel Sniffers nose. Develops
after repeated bagel sniffings. Often made worse by
presence of salt, poppy seeds, and even onions.

Sometimes goes unnoticed due to brown nose condition.
Furthermore, if bagel sniffer finds any pastries, bagel
rash may also become encrusted in chocolate, sugar glaze,
or cinnamon.

Encrustation around bagel rash will often end up on bagel
sniffers right index finger for these reasons:

- he picks his nose.
- he repeatedly employs the nose goes method of task avoidance.
- he does not want the free food particles to go to waste.

person 1: I’m having trouble downloading the software.
person 2: Your supposed to call bagel sniffer down to help you.
person 1: No way, it’s Friday, he’s got a terrible bagel rash today.
person 2: Oh my god, I thought that was a clump of dried mucus.
person 2: Yeah, that dumb ass will only make things worse anyways.
person 1: Don’t take my lines god damn it.
person 2: Ok, I’m sorry.

by AlexTheNewGuy July 25, 2008

bagel 2020

VOTE BAGEL 2020 (he may have a weird obsession with the Beatles and isn’t funny and is sometimes boring but still)

person: bagel 2020
other person: YES

by Millowwww September 27, 2020

The Better Bagel

The bagel that broke the internet. Featuring the same net carb content as 2 slices of banana, 26g protein. No added sugar. Basically everybody's dream come true. It's the holy grain. The future. The most epic discovery of the 21st century. It's been reported that people are willing to do anything to get their hands on more Better Bagels. Some have tried trading their kids. The magic cannot be explained.

I really wish I was eating The Better Bagel instead of these carb-filled, high-calorie ones.

by BetterBagel November 23, 2021

anchovy on a bagel

A term used by a man that loves rimming the butts of other men through a bagel.

"Wow, that guy really likes to rim through that bagel, his tongue looks like an anchovy darting through that hidey hole! Thats an anchovy on a bagel

by zimdah April 1, 2021

bagel

A bagel is a type of creature that is composed of bread exclusively for the most part and you know like think of like a tire right like a rubber tire...A tire has a hole in the center and it's surrounded by rubber. That's kinda like what a bagel is, but with bread instead. And uh, bagels can be interesting.

You can get special bagels with their own concoctions, like cinammon bagels.

by reviewbrahfan May 16, 2018

Bageled

To be hit with bagels, typically in a drive-by fashion, or as a surprise attack.

Tommy: where yall been?

Billy: Aw y'know, we stopped at Brooklyn Deli to pick up some Everythings, then went and paid Mike a visit. we Bageled the fuck outta that motha fucka!

by benjaminblanco September 14, 2021

Half-Bagel-Bitch

Someone who’s two-faced and acts different around different people.

“Oh my god, she’s such a half-bagel-bitch.”

by Notmurealname April 3, 2019