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Emergency wank

When the sudden urge to jizz is so overwhelming that you have to stop everything and have an emergency wank
Jesus Christ. I was at McDonald's drive-thru earlier when I had to abandon the car and run into the disabled toilets for an emergency wank. It was like I was possessed
by Mrrobot7891 August 7, 2020
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Pasty-wank

When one lightly heats up a pasty and proceeds to place his gentails inside, asserting his dominace over the pastry item for pleasure.
I walked into the kitchen the other day and caught Charlie Sheen having a pasty-wank!
by Vernonthecomplicated October 30, 2017
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Ass Wank

When you don't have a penis so you masturbate your anus
Friend 1: Man, I was so horny last night but I don't have a dick :(
Friend 2: You should try ass wanking, it's so good
by Superbankai April 26, 2016
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Wog Wanking

Wog wanking is the term of an overly Australian man or woman masturbating furiously over morally heartbreaking things.
Oi cunt, what'd you do last night?

Oh I was just Wog Wanking.

Mate, you need to fucking stop.
by Undeniably Fucked Up October 10, 2016
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Shame wank

When you wank for so long and you have used up all your acceptable wank fantasies. You must then journey to the dark side of the wank, which is full of all the good looking people just too young to go out with in school.
Oh shit, there goes my last valid wank fantasy. I should stop before this turns into a shame wank.
by ShammyDooWop August 23, 2016
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wank the crank

Grammatically correct term for mastrubation. Wank is the verb preceding crank (noun.)

A person " wanks the crank" and not vice versa.
Billy's grandmother nearly fainted when she saw him wank the crank to the nude pygmies in the National Geographic.
by Macsloan October 19, 2019
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Zombie Wank

The act of a zombie forcibly removing its penis (easily done due to the rotting flesh), and then rapidly inserting the hole where the penis used to be
Zombie 1: “Arrrggh” *Wow I just had the best zombie wank ever!*

Zombie 2: “Argh” *Yeah thanks that was mine*
by Lezo August 25, 2021
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