turtle boner

A short dude who likes to go for taller chicks that are way out of his league.

Wow, did you hear that Luke started dating Sarah. What a turtle boner.

by Dik chez October 14, 2018

feared the turtle

Fear the Turtle is what a woman experiences when she realizes halfway through vaginal intercourse that her bowels are full and her enjoyment of the sex has been superseded by her fear of crapping the bed.

Sue had to ask Drew to stop fucking her because she feared the turtle. She got on the can for a minute, then hopped back in bed, and no longer feared the turtle.

by Wangus Maximuz May 14, 2011

Jon's Turtle

Jon's everything. Mom, dad, sister, dog, best friend, EVERYTHING. Not to be confused with Jon's tortoise

Person: "Hey Jon, how's your Jon's turtle"
Jon: "o_o"

by Aly and Vyacheslav October 29, 2012

Homosexual Turtle

A college-aged, Caucasian male individual with an overtly long neck and deep-throating skills made for sucking dick. He has yet to come out of his shell completely.

Taylor: You should go out with Blake M...
Me: I can’t, you know he’s a Homosexual Turtle!

by Trumpette.xxx May 6, 2021

piss turtle

Surprise moment when a guy is pissing ( after having to hold it for an extremely long time ) and at the height of the stream he has an urge to shit. The brown turtle head wants out. Now begins the coordinated effort in continuing to piss while keeping from shitting yourself.

Dude I was at a wedding and after about the fifth toast I was about to piss myself. I got to the bathroom and out of now where I had a piss turtle situation on my hands.

by Irish don June 26, 2014

Toxic Turtle

Foul smelling faecal matter which either does not flush or will be accompanied by some form of staining of the toilet bowl. Due to their unpleasant after-effects (especially the long lasting, extremely offensive smell) toxic turtles have the effect of dissuading any person from coming too close to the toilet for a considerable amount of time. (hence the reference to "toxic").

John came over to our place on saturday. After dinner, he released a toxic turtle. Everyone was so grossed out that we could not go near the toilet for at least two hours.

by house rules July 6, 2009

turtle blaster

The act of an individual stuffing green and black jellybeans up their arse, followed by squatting down and pushing them out. The action resembles Turtles being blasted out of their bum.

-“Yo bro, I saw Alex the other day doing a Turtle Blaster..“
-“No way, with the green and black jellybeans?”
-“Yea”

by JellyBeanBlasterAlex April 13, 2020