Fear the Turtle is what a woman experiences when she realizes halfway through vaginal intercourse that her bowels are full and her enjoyment of the sex has been superseded by her fear of crapping the bed.
Sue had to ask Drew to stop fucking her because she feared the turtle. She got on the can for a minute, then hopped back in bed, and no longer feared the turtle.
by Wangus Maximuz May 14, 2011
Get the feared the turtlemug. Jon's everything. Mom, dad, sister, dog, best friend, EVERYTHING. Not to be confused with Jon's tortoise
by Aly and Vyacheslav October 29, 2012
Get the Jon's Turtlemug. A college-aged, Caucasian male individual with an overtly long neck and deep-throating skills made for sucking dick. He has yet to come out of his shell completely.
by Trumpette.xxx May 6, 2021
Get the Homosexual Turtlemug. An elastic band (or other improvised object) used to close off the end of an uncircumcised penis at the point of ejaculation in order to quickly and cleanly move from your location.
by Redh00d4 May 3, 2018
Get the Turtle Beltmug. When you get home after a long day needing to take a gargantuan shit and so you run to the toilet and knock over your kid in the hallway and slam the bathroom door shut and wait for that sweet sweet moment when you gloriously defecate all over the bathroom but instead end up straining your asscheeks for an hour only for a tiny ass piece of shit to slightly poke its way out of your asshole. That piece of shit is called a turtle head and know you have to choose to behead your turtle either by straining your asscheeks closed or pulling the piece of shit out with your fingers and now your hand smells of ass and your kid is crying in the hallway and you still have to make dinner and oh fuck why am I still alive
Mom: Jimothy, alight from your dwelling in order to receive nutrition handcrafted by your own mother.
Jimothy, tearfully: Mother, how I wish to fulfill that which you have requested of me! But alas, I am unable to, for I am stuck in the predicament of having to deal with a Turtle Head!
Mother, wailing: Jimothy, my dear beloved son! How I weep for you! How I mourn! That you should have to deal with such an ordeal! I am so deeply sorry, but alas, am unable to help.
Jimothy, tearfully: Mother, how I wish to fulfill that which you have requested of me! But alas, I am unable to, for I am stuck in the predicament of having to deal with a Turtle Head!
Mother, wailing: Jimothy, my dear beloved son! How I weep for you! How I mourn! That you should have to deal with such an ordeal! I am so deeply sorry, but alas, am unable to help.
by BaddSpelur October 31, 2019
Get the Turtle Headmug. A non trivial sized line of men at Bathroom or Portable toilet that seemingly all need to poop urgently
I was at the football game and there was a massive Turtle Parade because there was only 1 porta jon.
by Mr. Pix September 21, 2018
Get the Turtle Parademug. When someone/something is having very bad luck. As turtles have little to no luck because they are slow and if they end up on their back they cannot get up.
A soccer team keeps getting shots on goal, but just cannot get the ball in.
Max states: God! We have the luck of a turtle right now!
Max states: God! We have the luck of a turtle right now!
by mills messsss November 7, 2010
Get the Luck of a Turtlemug.