Jon's Turtle

Jon's everything. Mom, dad, sister, dog, best friend, EVERYTHING. Not to be confused with Jon's tortoise

Person: "Hey Jon, how's your Jon's turtle"
Jon: "o_o"

by Aly and Vyacheslav October 29, 2012

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Homosexual Turtle

A college-aged, Caucasian male individual with an overtly long neck and deep-throating skills made for sucking dick. He has yet to come out of his shell completely.

Taylor: You should go out with Blake M...
Me: I can’t, you know he’s a Homosexual Turtle!

by Trumpette.xxx May 6, 2021

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Garden turtle

A bloke who sucks himself off watching wetsuits dry on the clothesline

Get out of here Blake you dirty garden turtle!!!!

by Uncy Joe April 18, 2018

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that damn turtle

When you casually trip or fall and need to play it off by blaming the turtle, of course

Dude 1: *trips* Woah
Dude2: yo you okay?
Dude1:yea man it was that damn turtle
Dude2:what turtle?
Dude1: that damn turtle, you didn't see him? man he was right here!!

by Hailey B May 16, 2016

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turtle blaster

The act of an individual stuffing green and black jellybeans up their arse, followed by squatting down and pushing them out. The action resembles Turtles being blasted out of their bum.

-“Yo bro, I saw Alex the other day doing a Turtle Blaster..“
-“No way, with the green and black jellybeans?”
-“Yea”

by JellyBeanBlasterAlex April 13, 2020

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Foul smelling faecal matter which either does not flush or will be accompanied by some form of staining of the toilet bowl. Due to their unpleasant after-effects (especially the long lasting, extremely offensive smell) toxic turtles have the effect of dissuading any person from coming too close to the toilet for a considerable amount of time. (hence the reference to "toxic").

John came over to our place on saturday. After dinner, he released a toxic turtle. Everyone was so grossed out that we could not go near the toilet for at least two hours.

by house rules July 6, 2009

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